I am not a follower, I'm a chooser.

As I mentioned, Avi did this meme today and gave totally false answers. I know this because who thinks placenta is Chinese food?! I'm choosing to give mostly serious answers with my Poppy humor injection.

1. Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
   

   Sex is best whenever it is offered to me.

   
   
2. On which side of the bed do you sleep?
   

   When I'm lying down it's the left side. When I'm standing up it's the right side.

   
   
3. Pork, beef, or chicken?
   

   Steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak BEEF steak steak steak steak steak steak.

   
   
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
   

   Not that I recall.

   
   
5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on?
   

   Right.

   
   
6. Candles or incense?
   

   Hay likes candles so we have them. I could give a care. When I was in high school I would have chosen incense. I'm not in high school anymore. But I love fire?

   
   
7. Do you dance when no one is watching?
   

   I dance when Hay and the kitties are watching. If anyone else is watching I'll do a little bit of sit down dancing, but that's it.

   
   
8. Did you play doctor when you were little?
   

   Um, no. But I did play "lift up your shirt" with my bestest girl friend Blake in 3rd grade?

   
   
9. Stove top cooking or microwave?
   

   Stoooooooove.

   
   
10. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty?
    

    I don't care.

    
    
11. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
    

    I return my cart to those corrals in the parking lot. If the store doesn't have those then they can walk their ass outside and come get my cart. :)

    
    
12. Shower or bath?
    

    Shower for daily cleaning, bath for relaxing and other ulterior motive-type activities.

    
    
13. Do you pee in the shower?
    

    Yes, yes I do. And if anyone has a problem with that I'm peeing on your foot.

    
    
14. Mexican or Chinese food?
    

    I choose Mexican more frequently, but love them both.

    
    
15. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
    

    AGGRESSIVE. :D

    
    
16. Do you own sex toys?
    

    No comment.

    
    
17. Corn dogs or hot dogs?
    

    Corn dogs with mustard.

    
    
18. Your favorite restaurant?
    

    A steak house. Any steak house. With good steak. Please. YUM.

    
    
19. What did you have for lunch today?
    

    Parmesan garlic & herb pita chips (so far).

    
    
20. When did you last fall down?
    

    The last time I remember falling down was when I had on slippery socks and lost my footing on the very top stair of the second story of our home. I slid all. the. way. down. on my back. I was black and blue for weeks.

    
    
21. Have you ever wished someone were dead?
    

    Who hasn't?

    
    
22. Love or money?
    

    Both. :)

    
    
23. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn’t?
    

    Wasn't what? In my family? Of course. Who makes these stupid questions?

    
    
24. Oreos or vanilla wafers?
    

    Neither. Unless we're talking mint chocolate covered Oreos, and then GAME ON.

    
    
25. How do you like your steak?
    

    Medium, medium well, or well done — depends how much I trust the place cooking it.

    
    
26. How do you like your eggs?
    

    I almost never like my eggs any way whatsoever, but I occasionally enjoy them over hard or in omelette form.

    
    
27. Have you ever knocked someone off their feet in a fight?
    

    I pushed my cousin over when she pushed me first. I was 12. She was 9. Does that count?

    
    
28. Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel?
    

    I have spent enough nights outside thinking I was going to freeze to death, so I will always and forever choose the five star hotel.

    
    
29. Would you rather have a root canal or minor surgery?
    

    Minor surgery.

    
    
30. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
    

    My first instinct is no, but I guess it depends what kind of money we're talking.

    
    
31. Would you rather have lice or an STD?
    

    An STD. :D

    
    
32. What’s your favorite hard candy?
    

    Smarties? Sweet-Tarts? I dunno, I don't really eat hard candy.

    
    
33. Ever been to a strip club?
    

    Not for lack of wanting.

    
    
34. Ever been to a bar?
    

    Okay, this is another stupid question. YES, I've been to "a" bar.

    
    
35. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
    

    Maybe. :)

    
    
36. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
    

    Yes, I have been that drunk. It was fun getting there but not fun for anyone taking care of me.

    
    
37. Kissed someone of the same sex?
    

    Yes.

    
    
38. Had sex in the car?
    

    Yes.

    
    
39. Had sex at the beach?
    

    Yes.

    
    
40. Had sex in a movie theater?
    

    No.

    
    
41. Had sex in a bathroom?
    

    Yes.

    
    
42. Have you ever been in an “adult” store?
    

    No, but I've been to the porn section of my local movie store...? Oh, oh! And I've looked in the window of a sex shop in Quebec!

    
    
43. Is there anyone on your blogroll you would ever consider having sex with?
    

    No comment.

    
    
44. Have you been caught having sex?
    

    Yes.

    
    
45. Have you ever kissed a stranger?
    

    Um. No? Kind of a stranger, I'd just met him? But, that's not what you mean, meme.

    
    
46. Does anyone have naughty pictures of you?
    

    I am definitely pleading the blogger fifth on this one.

Okay, your turn. You do this if you dare.