Saturday, May 05, 2007

Graduation day

To all the people who took the quiz: Thank you. :) I had no idea how impossibly hard it was for everyone but me. It seemed pretty easy because I know what has happened to me and I know what hasn't, but clearly I am somewhat of a master/mistress deceiver?

I'll give answers plus explanations then at the very bottom I give rights and wrongs for each person who took the quiz and, of course, reveal the "winner".

1. Arrived in Belgium at 1:30am with no local currency and no way of contacting the people I was staying with.
True. After missing the hydrofoil because a motorcyclist was decapitated on the motorway I had to quite literally take the slow boat from England to Belgium. Rather than arriving at 6:00pm I arrived at 1:30am. Somehow when I arrived my boyfriend and his host family were magically waiting for me. I blame telepathy.

2. Ate an entire package of ramen noodles before realizing there were bugs in it.
False. This actually happened to my friend who was making the noodles for his daughter. He realized there were bugs in it before he fed the noodles to her. I promise!

3. Ate raw onions as a snack when I was a kid.
False. I hated onions as a kid. I absolutely adore them now and plan to eat them exclusively when I move in with Molly at the brothel.

4. Attempted to kill my brother.
True. When I was 10 my brother was over at my house doing his best to intentionally bother me. I became so enraged that I took a pillow and attempted to smother him with it. He laughed at me the entire time I had the pillow over his face. Fucker. (I love my brother now, but back then we were mortal enemies.)

5. Been attacked by ostriches.
True. In Arizona at an ostrich farm on the way back from the Grand Canyon. Ostriches are mean.

6. Been allergic to adhesive tape since I was 27.
True. I had exploratory surgery after which adhesive tape was placed on my stomach to hold a bandage over the incisions. My stomach got a nasty rash from the adhesive. The only place on my body I can now wear a non-hypoallergenic bandage is on any of my fingers.

7. Been in an earthquake.
True. Several, actually.

8. Been on cable TV.
False. I once was on closed circuit TV for a book report in 5th grade and there ends my television career.

9. Been sent to my room for not eating shark at dinner.
True. My mother tried to feed me shark without telling me what it was. I asked her what it was, she told me, and I refused to eat it. I did not get to watch “Little House on the Prairie” as punishment for not eating a scary-ass “animal”. How is that fair?

10. Been threatened at knife point.
True. By my sister, no less. Apparently I was bothering her just a little too much that day and she decided she couldn't take it anymore so she grabbed a kitchen knife and pointed it at me. I don't remember being scared, I just remember wondering how much the knife was going to hurt. She didn't stab me.

11. Been to Madison Square Garden.
True. Watched Larry Bird totally tromp the Hawks. Go Celtics!

12. Broke into a farm with my babysitter and Basset Hound.
True. My babysitter brought us through the forest, across a 4-lane highway, and under an active electric fence so we could break into the local university’s farm. This action coupled with her theft of several collectible coins from my mother’s boyfriend led to her being fired.

13. Caught my friend’s fiancée cheating on him with my hot roommate.
True. I heard them doing it. Granted, I did not see them doing it, but I know what doing it sounds like and there was a new condom in his garbage can after. And since she never copped to this or asked me not to tell I’m not counting this as a secret I should have kept. Bitch.

14. Eaten an entire pound of bacon in one sitting.
True. Several times, in fact. One of the local convenience store delis puts an entire pound of bacon on their BLTs if you get the large size. Yummmmmmmm.

15. Eaten three plates of veal parmigiana in one sitting.
False. I do not eat baby animals. Definitely not veal. I’ve been to a veal farm…

16. Gave a classmate a bloody nose with my floor hockey stick.
True. Totally by accident. Brought my stick up and he happened to be directly behind me. About three minutes after that one of his friends took vengeance upon me and hit me with his stick.

17. Had a chat with Spaulding Gray about life, the universe, and everything.
True. Directly after a show he performed at one of our playhouses he came out in the auditorium and the only people there to talk with him were my crew of friends and me. So we chatted him up for about 20 minutes and then left. I was very sad to learn he committed suicide.

18. Had a friend from middle school (who was threatened at knife point by her cousin) who later became my cousin-in-law through marriage.
True. Her husband is Hay’s cousin. :) She is fine. Her knife-wielding cousin? I don't know.

19. Had an anxiety attack at the movie theater while watching the first 10 minutes of War Games and had to leave.
True. My brother was severely pissed at me for making him leave and at the theater for not redeeming our money even though it was crystal clear I wasn’t doing well.

20. Had my brother attempt to kill me.
True. I was 11, he was 17 and high on illicit substance(s). He threw me up against a wall at the top of the stairs and threatened to throw me down them. I chose to act passively in that situation which I’m pretty sure saved me from being paralyzed or dead.

21. Had sex in all three of my boyfriend’s siblings’ beds (with my boyfriend, not the siblings).
True. Sorry to his siblings. His sister’s bed was the most fun. (Hey, Goldie Locks had a favorite bed, too!)

22. Had sex in a cow pasture.
True. With cows in it! But I didn’t have sex with cows, I had sex with a guy. The gay guy from my first 50 things. He was incredibly spontaneous.

23. Have a brother and a sister.
True. I never talk about my sister because that situation is very complicated. She is not my sister through blood and she was disowned by part of my family, but we are still sisters and the rest of our family can STFU about it. She named her daughter after me, for crying out loud!

24. Held a gun.
False. I’ve never held a gun. (I don’t mean a toy gun.)

25. Jumped off the roof of my family home because my brother was annoying me.
False. I’ve been on a garage roof before but never a house roof, and you couldn’t pay me enough to jump off because heights give me vertigo. Edit: Or at least they used to. They didn't last weekend when I was working on the boat. I'm still not intentionally jumping off any roofs unless my life is in danger because I could get really hurt doing that and it doesn't sound like a smart idea.

26. Jumped out of a moving car when I was mad at my dad.
False. My sister did that. Twice. I never did that. You can now probably guess which part of the family disowned her.

27. Kissed another guy to make my boyfriend jealous.
False. I cheated on the first love of my life because I'm a horndog, but I’ve never done this act.

28. Learned Spanish in college so that I could learn how to call my roommate a whore without her knowing what I was saying.
False. Although I was thinking of my friend’s fiancée when I came up with this.

29. Lived in the same state as a blogger on my blog obsession list.
False. There is one person on my extended blogroll who would make it to my blog obsession list if she posted more frequently!!!! And then this statement would be true.

30. Made out with a gay guy at a gay bar.
True. Up against a wall. He was up against the wall. I was pouncing on him. It was consensual, by the way. And it was the gay guy from my first 50 things. Only been with the one gay guy.

31. Made out with a lesbian at a gay bar.
False. I’ve actually never made out with a lesbian. Two straight girls and a bisexual friend, but never a lesbian. And definitely never at a gay bar because I’ve seen the look in the eyes of the ladies there. They’re waiting to eat me up. :)

32. Played on the softball team ‘The Red Hots’ in elementary school and won the state softball championship.
False. I did play on a softball team called ‘The Red Hots’ when I was eight but we lost every game.

33. Purchased five lobsters from the grocery store for the purposes of setting them free and then realizing I had nowhere to actually set them free. Hmm.
False. Although I’ve daydreamed of doing this I understand that my geographic location makes this not a well thought out plan. The next time I’m near the ocean I might do it, though. ;)

34. Read a very dirty parrot joke in a Playboy at age 6.
True. Naughty parrot!

35. Ridden a motorcycle.
False. I was offered a ride by my mom’s boyfriend at age 8 but I was too terrified. There’s a college kid associated with Hay’s business who just started riding. If that yummy boy ever asks me to ride on his motorcycle you bet I’m saying yes. (RAWR.)

36. Sat in on Canadian Parliament.
True. I was in Ottawa for a Canadian Studies trip. After politicking we had a beer party and a fancy dinner. Delish!

37. Stretched my arms directly after sex and ended up accidentally falling off the left side of the bed onto my right side. (Spinny!)
True. With those details how could it not be? I laughed pretty hard after the initial shock wore off. The lights were off so I did not understand what had just happened until Hay turned his bedside lamp on.

38. Taught my 5-year-old cousin the Macarena.
False. I do have a cousin who is 27 years younger but I’ve never tried to teach her how to dance because she is the one who teaches me to dance. Ballerina!

39. Threw a lawn dart at my brother’s head which unfortunately connected.
False. This is Hay’s unfortunate tale. He threw one at his sister and it stuck in her head. That was before Jarts were made illegal. :)

40. Threw water balloons at passing cars and had one of the drivers chase after me.
False. I was in my boyfriend’s Taurus when someone threw a water balloon at his windshield. He backed up to try to find the kids, but didn’t see them.

41. Took a girl I was babysitting to the mall and accidentally lost her for 15 minutes. (I had to ask Customer Service to call her name over the loud speaker. :D )
False. I’ve only ever babysat my cousins (as a kid) and my friends’ kids (as an adult). My mom lost me in a store once and had to have Customer Service call me over to their desk. She also lost my brother at a fair once and forever after kept him on a leash in public places until he was 9. Poor “Chip”.

42. Took gymnastics as a chunky 8-year-old.
True. I even did a cat’s cradle off the uneven bars, didn’t understand how to rotate, fell down, and knocked the wind out of myself! Chubby little girls in leotards are SO SEXY.

43. Tripped in Fenway stadium and almost broke my wrist.
False. I’ve been to Fenway several times (and going again in September!!!!!!@@~!@!!11~~!11) but I’ve never ever tripped there.

44. Walked into a room before I realized its floor was covered in maggots.
True. I interned at the vet’s for a summer when I was 16. There was a dog in one of the cages who was rotting from the inside. Maggots crawled out of him and across the holding room floor. I even remember what shoes, pants, and socks I was wearing that fateful day. Gah.

45. Was allergic to strawberries until the age of 28.
True. The seeds used to make me very sick. I somehow got over that. Good thing, because I love strawberries.

46. Was failing the class anyway so didn’t bother showing up to my organic chemistry final.
False. I did go to my orgo final and failed it with purpose. I did not go to my physics final, however. I was depressed that semester and was incapable of learning anything to do with scientific lecture. I got A’s in both labs, though!

47. Watched my boyfriend’s father hit his sister.
True. And I FAR-EAKED OUT on all three of them. To them it was something normal that their dad did to them if he was mad at them. NOT COOL and I made that known.

48. Watched my neighbor slide on her knees across a Slip n’ Slide and cut her knee open on glass.
True. Her wound was “breathing” and traumatized me for life. I never returned for more Slip n’ Slide time.

49. Weighed 133 pounds in 4th grade.
True. I was a husky child. My weight has tended to fluctuate pretty severely all my life based on my emotional situation. Sad but true. Currently I’m happy as a clam so my weight is perfect for me. I blame this happiness on blogging.

50. Written a poem about a boy I crushed on that my mom found while cleaning my room.
True. It was titled “Jake” which was the real name of the boy. No pulling one over on my mom if I name the poem after the boy I complain about on a daily basis. :)

Rights and Wrongs:
In the order the quiz was taken...
(I am aware that there is a big gap here. Big gaps are fun. Keep scrolling down so that I can go outside instead of fighting with blogger. Thank you.)

Avi4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 21, 23, 4715, 25, 29, 31, 33, 39, 40, 43, 46
Bearette5, 6, 9, 14, 17, 21, 22, 23, 30, 36, 44, 492, 3, 15, 25, 26, 31, 40, 46
ACW1, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 16, 23, 49, 502, 8, 27, 28, 29, 35, 39, 40, 43
Molly4, 5, 7, 10, 12, 15, 19, 20, 23, 25, 36, 443, 26, 29, 31, 39, 40, 40, 41, 46
DLil7, 11, 14, 19, 21, 23, 30, 34, 42, 44, 48, 49, 503, 15, 25, 28, 38, 40, 46
B5, 7, 11, 16, 17, 23, 44, 45, 48, 492, 8, 24, 25, 29, 31, 32, 35, 39, 46
Kristen5, 9, 10, 13, 14, 17, 19, 21, 22, 23, 36, 44, 45, 48, 5015, 26, 28, 31, 39
SourPuss1, 4, 6, 9, 10, 12, 14, 17, 20, 21, 23, 30, 452, 8, 15, 25, 31, 32, 33
Stef4, 5, 7, 9, 10, 11, 14, 17, 19, 20, 23, 36, 44, 45, 4724, 26, 31, 35, 46
MIL/Lisslo5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12, 14, 17, 23, 36, 44, 48, 492, 24, 28, 31, 32, 35, 39
Mel6, 7, 9, 10, 14, 17, 19, 20, 23, 34, 36, 42, 44, 45, 48, 492, 3, 25, 32, 39
Tug5, 6, 7, 9, 14, 16, 17, 19, 22, 23, 30, 44, 45, 47, 492, 15, 24, 33, 46
KnittingSchmoo6, 7, 12, 13, 17, 22, 30, 36, 44, 45, 48, 492, 3, 25, 29, 33, 40, 41, 46
Liz7, 14, 17, 23, 30, 34, 36, 44, 45, 47, 492, 3, 15, 24, 27, 32, 38, 40, 46
Spéncèr6, 9, 11, 17, 21, 23, 36, 37, 42, 442, 3, 15, 25, 31, 32, 33, 35, 38, 43

I am amused that only KnittingSchmoo did not choose #23 as a false answer. The rest of you (except B who thought it was a trick question) think I don't have a sister which means I clearly don't talk about her enough/ever. I am also amused (don't ask me why) that only Avi, ACW, and SourPuss believed that I had been in a room where the floor was covered in maggots. So gross, try not to let it happen to you. :)

B and Spénce both got 10 out of 20 correct so they both get a prize!

B is receiving a selection of LUSH bath bombs because she loves them and deserves them. Spénce is receiving cold, hard PayPal cash to go toward the purchase of his new uncrappycamera. He would have received a gift certificate to a lovely little shop that sells yummy treats but they don't let me order gift certificates online so we'll have to pretend that's what I did. :)


Avitable said...

Cool! I'm so sad that I didn't win.

Molly said...

HA! The brother/sister question was the only one I *knew* that I got right and I got it wrong! Damn. It. Congratulations, Winners!

Tug said...

Damn, I suck.

momma always told me to do what I'm good at

Spéncèr said...

WOW, I can't believe I got them right! Thanks a lot, Poppy! Hopefully I can buy Uncrappycamera soon. Although I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Uncle Jon's coffee. How did you know? Who told you? :)

That was fun! Congrats to B, too!

Poppy Cede said...

Avi - I am sad that you didn't win as well. But you get enough presents from me without a contest. They might not be presents you want, but that's hardly the point. :)

Molly - I was amused when you were all excited in IM about getting that question right. It was hard not to say anything.

Tug - But you suck well. I love it when you suck. Feel free to suck all you want at my blog.

Spénce - I have my ways of figuring out what you like. No one told me. (I'm squary that way.)

bdogg_mcgee said...


I had no idea I'd won until this morning, because my f-ing Internet was down all weekend again! YAY!

Thanks so much for the upcoming bath bombs--you know me so well :)

Congrats to my co-winner, Spencer!!