Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Pretend I sound like Amy Poehler reading the week's top stories...

...when I say, "the Federal Drug Administration has approved a new birth control pill called Lybrel that may put an end to a woman's monthly period all together. Side effects of this pill include unexpected spotting for up to 5 days at a time. When asked what they thought of this new pill an entire nation of women yelled in unison, 'THAT'S A PERIOD, YOU FUCKING MORON.'"


Okay, and I simplify the article of course, but I'm not taking this pill. I'd rather have symptoms that my body is about to replenish my uterine lining than have unexpected spotting and bleed all over my favorite panties. Is anyone not in agreement about this?

5 comments:

bdogg_mcgee said...

Back in more blissful times when I was on the Pill, I took Seasonale and only had a period every three months. I spotted at first, but it went away after the first month, and after that it was smooth sailing.

I liked only having four periods a year, but don't quite know how I feel about no periods. I wouldn't be averse to trying it, though. :)

Poppy said...

You're willing to spot for an entire year, though? (As in, for 4 or 5 days at a time for an unknown number of times in the first year.) I'd rather do Seasonique (the new Seasonale). And, actually, I'd rather be free of synthetic hormones altogether. :D

sourpuss said...

I'd rather the whole kit'n'caboodle be removed from my abdominal area entirely. I've no use for it.

Poppy said...

What, no sugardaddy impregnations?! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE (let's pretend that's times infinity).

Poppy said...

There is no way to put this delicately: My reproductive parts are not built correctly for NuvaRing. I tried it for a few days once and I think the problem is that I'm too small for the ring to fit because it HURT LIKE HELL and my body would reject it and push it back out. TMI tidbit #1,374,682.