Saturday Special

If you don't like words you can go look at the photos instead.

Molly, you will be disappointed. My digital camera sucks so bad at taking videos that I couldn't do the thing we were gonna do. Very sorry. Hay says if I'm good he'll get me a new camera for Christmas. Buncha shit, I don't wait that long for anything, so I'll be looking into a new camera shortly. :P

Let us recall that two years ago I documented my adventures with Hay au Vieux Montréal here and here. We actually go every year, but apparently I didn't document last year's adventure. Yesterday Hay and I travelled again with his employer to Canada for the same end goal -- to see Cirque du Soleil: Kooza.

I would just like to say before I chronicle the day that if you need help in picking a Cirque show to see then let me help you out by saying that Kooza is that show. More on that later.

Hay and I showed up to his work to pick up our tickets, our bagged lunch (roast beef wrap, pasta salad, chips, cookie), and our Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I only took a picture of the ice cream refuse:



There were so many of us going up that we had to take three coach "buses" to get there. It was an uneventful trip up. I started texting Sour right before we got to the border, letting her know what I was about to go do. Because, you know, she lives in Canada. :) When we got to the border no border patrol bothered to get on the bus and we continued on to Montreal.

When we got there we all got off our buses and Hay and I walked along the water to the science museum, but it was so very, very busy that we decided not to stick around so we walked around in the sun instead and took a look at the Tugboat Daniel McAllister:



After that we headed into Vieuw Montréal and hung out at a statue of Jean Drapeau, the former mayor of the city. Here's me having my head crushed by Monsieur Drapeau:



After having my head smooshed it was time to go to the show. Hay and I bought popcorn and soda then headed into the show to sit in row D, as in 6 rows back from the stage (first two rows are for very special guests, so I guess those are AA and BB?). I respected the request that no photos or video be taken, so I'll show you official photos from the Kooza site. The acts that truly awed me were the three girls doing contortion, the tightrope walkers, the wheel of death, the chair walker, and the teeterboarders. You can read about all the acts at the Kooza site but I'm going to focus on tightrope walkers and wheel of death.

The tightrope walkers were walking on two ropes, one above the other. One of the tightrope walkers fell. He caught the rope with his armpit and lifted himself back up on the rope then went on to redo the trick. FUCK, MAN. He deserves a medal for that shit.



The guy on top is the one who fell off the rope when he jumped OVER the head of one of the guys on a bike to land on his feet on the tightrope. He did land on his feet but he was leaning back when he landed so over he went. Scary. Scary, scary, scary to think you're about to watch someone die and there's nothing you can do about it.

After tightrope walkers was an intermission during which I texted Sour and B that there were lunatics at the circus. Sour texted me something smartassish back and Hay laughed because I think he agrees with her that I, too, am a lunatic. (Thanks to both of you for your support. :P ) Little did I know the lunacy that would present itself to me after the intermission.

The wheel of death? Hay and I had to stop looking. We both put our heads down when one runner was inside his wheel while the other was OUTSIDE THE WHEEL and tripping constantly, flying around on the OUTSIDE OF THE FUCKING WHEEL AND ALMOST DYING EVERY SECOND OF IT.



I don't know how anyone was able to keep looking because that was REAL LIFE, we didn't know if those people were going to DIE, there were NO SAFETY NETS, and this show is NEW so I almost upchucked my popcorn in my lap. Incredible. Standing ovation, loudest applause, fucking deserved.

After the show was over we met up with a group of two couples and the wife of one of Hay's co-workers to find a bite to eat. Dinner was at l'Usine de Spaghetti whose picture I took two years ago and will use here now:



There is no wait list and they don't accept reservations. You just wait in line and they take you in as they have space for you. There were seven of us so it took about 40 minutes to seat us, but I will quote the really rude woman in my party who actually said this to our server: "It was worth the wait." There's a difference between telling your blog friends and family this information versus telling the woman who is balls to the wall busy serving your fucking American asses as fast as she possibly can. You know? STFU is the look that was on my face when she said that to our server. But, she's right. Food was amazing. And the beer wasn't bad either:



Back to the food: I had the spaghetti with l'Usine's meat sauce. Very tasty, and the portions are not American-sized so I was actually able to eat everything on my plate! That never ever happens in the States. Our portions are too big for my tummy.

After not having gone to the bathroom since 10:00am I finally decided I just might have to go so I went down the stairs of the restaurant to the bathroom with a bit of a blaring headache that I knew wasn't from the beer. Allow me to say that Poppy's red hair plus lobster sunburn is not a cute look. Both Hay and I got sunburns from walking along le fleuve Saint-Laurent.

After Hay paid the bill we went to the bus and I caught some beautiful nighttime shots:



And then we went home. A border patrol agent did visit us on the way back in but he might as well not have because all he did was take a quick glance at the passports of the two Canadian passengers on the bus and that was that. Hay and I came home, took care of the kittos, and went to sleep until 10am this morning because we were exhausted.

I think I deserve the award for abrupt endings and that you'll enjoy the full 88-photo set over at flickr. :)