I always check out the websites of those who post comments on my site. dbhayes posted a comment about the mean people suck post, so I visited the Frozen Toothpaste blog associated with his profile and found a post about falling out with friends. So, I'm taking this as a sign that I really should blog about something that's been bugging me for the past two weeks.
I had a friend, or so I thought. We worked together at a company. It was her first tech job. She had previously been in the restaurant business but wanted to make more money, so she switched to information technology. I taught her everything she knows about computers and how to do computer support. (Really, I'm not bragging about what I taught her. She didn't know anything about computers.) I left that company but I stayed in touch with her. We hung out on occasion, lunches together or visits to our respective homes. She would call me at my new job or email me quite frequently asking how to do certain tasks that I used to do that she was now responsible for completing. I had taught her how to do these tasks, but when you're trying to learn something brand new to you sometimes it doesn't sink in or make sense right away. I was happy to help her.
Over the past few months I've emailed articles or just messages saying hi to her, but she never responded. Recently I emailed her and she told me she was thinking of me, was about to go away on vacation, and maybe we could get together when she's back. I waited for her to return. No email from her. I sent her another email. She didn't return my email. I guess she's done with me.
It would have been "nice" of her to have the decency to just say she doesn't want me in her life anymore, and for what reason. I'm not a creep, I'm not mean, I'm not nosey, I'm not a tyrrant. I'm a very thoughtful and giving friend. I will do nice things for friends without prompting, that's just me. I am very fond of her son and her cat, and get along well (but not "too well" if you catch my drift) with her husband. My husband really enjoys hanging out with her husband because they have similar interests. So, wtf?
When I was growing up I would make friends and then we would move so that was the reason why I was no longer friends with people. Once I tried to keep contact with a friend after moving and it just didn't pan out because we were 10 and didn't quite know how to fight for friendship. In high school I made friends and wondered when I would lose those friends. The end of high school came. We all went to college together. Then we all lived together. Then we all worked together. Now our lives have diverged, but we maintain contact. So, we are still friends. Yes, these are the friends I complained about earlier, but they are my friends. They don't just stop calling or writing. They find some way to stay in my life, and I in theirs.
So, I'm thinking that "friendship" with the person who (apparently) used me for knowledge wasn't actually ever a friendship. It was her sapping me of all of my craft's information so that she could have my job when I left it, and now she's happy to just forget I ever existed. That's shitty.
I resolve from this day forward to no longer try to contact her. She is no longer my friend. I will not speak of her again. I will not try to fight for this "friendship" that was never a friendship to begin with. I am done with feeling this way. I will forgive, but I will not forget.