Hay would prefer that Little Kitty's urn be buried in the backyard underneath the lilac bush we planted in her honor, but somehow I cannot bring myself to do it. He has also requested that I not talk to the ashes, so I do this in private or I just gaze at the box and have a silent conversation with her. LK was one month shy of 19 when we made the eternally painful decision to have her put to sleep, and although I know in my head it was the right thing to do, my heart will always feel a bit of guilt in choosing to end her life. I know she was asking me to, but... it's still as painful today as it was the day I made the decision, almost 2 years ago.
 LK when she was healthy, ~8 lbs (this photo is on our fridge) |
 LK when she was sick, ~5 lbs |
I know that putting LK down was my first hard pet-related decision and that I will need to make tough decisions about one or more of my other furry kids in my lifetime, but I doubt it gets any easier. If animals were just objects or property to me the decision would be easy and painless, but I mean it when I say that my cats are my kids, and no mother wants to have to make the decision to take away life support from their child.
Kind of a downer post, sorry, just needed to get it out there in the ether so that it didn't plague my mind.
3 comments:
LK was such a pretty cat! When you told me she was black & white, I sorta thought she'd look like my Alphonse or my sister's Patches, but she has far more black and is so super cute, even with the drastic weight loss.
I can only imagine how you feel, looking at her pictures, because I can only compare it to how I feel when I look through my Creepy's photos. They make my happy but they also make me want to cry. I want to hold her again, to hear the croaky meow but I know that's not possible so I, too, take solace in having her ashes near me. I also speak to her once in a while and think it's perfectly healthy & normal. And when I pass on, I want her with me. Literally & figuratively.
Even though there are many miles between us, Poppy, I'm hugging you right now... with lump in throat, tear in eye, sympathy in mind & heavy in heart, but joyful in memory of furry friendships.
P'nut, I'm pretty sure we were meant to meet up so that we could know there was someone else out there who loves their furry kids as much as each of us does. Thank you for your kind words, and for letting my story move you. :) This year on the anniversary of her death I think we shall have a celebration with a cake and lots of tuna and chicken.
TunaCakes! Yum!
And when we (me, Alphonse & Scooter) celebrate Creepy's anniversay this year with TunaIceCream (her two favourite things), we'll send a special shout-out to the starry sky for your Little Kitty, too.
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