Sunday, June 03, 2007

Skip explained

Because I seem to be incapable of telling a story anymore I will use bullet points to describe why Hay and I didn't go to the wedding today:
  • I worked with the bride but no longer do
  • The bride is greedy
  • The bride annoys me
  • The bride is a slacker
  • The bride has a spontaneous whistling/singing habit that irritates me into a place in my head where it is safe, and even there I don't feel safe anymore
  • The bride stabs backs
  • The bride makes promises she does not keep
  • The bride is rude
  • The bride uses people
  • The bride takes advantage of others' kindness
  • The bride is always late
  • The bride plays the victim if confronted over any issue
  • The bride likes to hear herself talk
  • The bride has an obnoxious laugh
  • The bride uses her faith to get out of life situations but secretly she just doesn't want to do stuff
  • The bride never finishes what she starts
  • The bride is not my friend
  • The bride criticizes me about my appearance inward and out despite her own appearance inward and out being several large steps back from spectacular
  • The bride will never see me again
  • The bride will not have missed me at her wedding
  • If she did then that's even better.

~ The End ~


Spéncer said...

It’s good to know that there are some honest people left in the world. I applaud you, Poppy.

Tug said...

GOOD for you!

Life's too short. I hope you & Hay had a good time together...

LeSombre said...

There's only one line missing:

- The bride reads my Blog.


Kristen said...

You didn't get her a gift, did you? Because according to Dear Abby, it's the height of insults to show up at someone's wedding without a gift worth at least $50.

Were I attempting an insult, I might have skipped the wedding, showed up at the reception, and brought no gift.

RW said...

Moral of story: Don't piss Poppy off!

Poppy Cede said...

Spénce - I'm mostly honest. I am dishonest when it is in the best interest of all involved.

Tug - We had a very good time. :)

Mike - If she reads my blog then GOOD. Servers her right.

K - We got her a gift but have decided to keep it. :)

RW - On my manufacturer's recommendation label it says precisely that. Dire consequences.

Poppy Cede said...

Mike - I wrote servers. Sigh. IT IT IT invades our brains.

nabbalicious said...

She sounds repellent, and I think you made the right call!

Jen said...

The bride sounds like such a sweetheart. Why ever would you not want to be around her?

On a more serious note, I can't believe you even considered going to the wedding and bought such a heinous beast a gift. She sounds like a Bridezilla from Hell. Isn't it funny how it feels so good to distance yourself from such a toxic personality?

Poppy Cede said...

Heather - Thanks. And thanks for helping me get it out.

Jen - I'm all about getting rid of the toxic relationships. Sometimes I go too far, though. :)

stefanie said...

And yet... The Bride found a man willing to spend the rest of his life with her, and I am still single. Huh.

(Please tell me her husband is a tool as well.)

Poppy Cede said...

Of sorts -- he's a doctor.