Wednesday, January 31, 2007

“Huh, that's weird...”

I got tagged by Pat to write a list of six things that are weird about me. Here are my six things:

1. No matter how clean you tell me your bare feet are they are DIRTY. Keep them away from me, or I might throw up on them and then you'll definitely agree that they are DIRTY.

2. If a complete stranger annoys me in any way I will mumble (quietly, obviously) about them in their presence. I'll even call them names. Yesterday I called a woman the c word* in the bathroom for not waiting until I had completely left the stall before she charged me to get into it AND for coughing on me (without covering her fucking mouth) while she charged by. She didn't hear me. I later went back into that bathroom when it was empty and I said the c word quite loudly "at" her. Deserved, à mon avis.

3. I would rather talk to animals than people.

4. I am a moral sociopath. This means that I do consider morals when weighing my decision to keep people at a safe distance or to get what I want. For example: I will offer you the smaller piece of cake rather than eating both pieces myself; I won't take your phone calls but I'll email you a reply that makes it clear you shouldn't bother calling me.

5. I love Amy Sedaris and consider her a personal role model.

6. Whenever I am out in public alone I am constantly thinking through strategies for fending off attackers. I am secretly looking forward to the day when I am attacked just so that I can practice some of these strategies, because I am a moral sociopath so I can't just attack people unprovoked! Hay and I agree that we wouldn't want to meet me in a dark alley.

I'm tagging everyone and no one. Enjoy delving into your weird side. Let me know if you do this because I want to know all the weird things about you. (Yes, I'm talking to you.)

*Censored for P'nut, who doesn't care for that word.


It's Me, Maven... said...

I sooooo can relate to your #6!!

Avitable said...

You? Called someone the "c" word? I'm assuming you meant "Cranberry-head".

I don't know I understand the whole concept of moral sociopathy.

I've already posted weird things about myself. I don't think there's anything left.

stefanie said...

I already have this slated for my Friday Five this week. No one had tagged me yet; I just figured I would do it. (Obviously I am doing five instead of six, however.) Anyway, so look for it then. :-)

Diamond Lil said...

Amy Sedaris for President of the World. Thank you.

I'll do this fun game of oddities tomorrow!

Kristen said...

I can't stand when people say "cranberry-head", either. Ugh. I'm getting to the point where I really want to say that word to my MIL, though. To her face.

Strange, but I think I'm with you on all 6 points. Then again, when I think of what I'd write in my blog about me, I think of other weird things, so there are definitely more than six. Six is well overshot.

Especially #6: Keeping in mind that I'm an avid sock knitter, you can pretty much rely on me to always have 2mm needles at the ready. Those can take eyes out, and I'm sure some are sharp and long enough to pierce the heart; however, I make my socks on a Magic Loop, which can easily be used as a garrote. Assuming I sneak up behind my attacker, of course.

Irene said...

I did this weird meme, too. Your six are hella amusing. Thanks for sharing! ;p

Molly said...

So I don't daydream about fending off attackers. I daydream about attacking offenders. Like the guy I work with who complains all day long about nothing. In fact, right now, I'm daydreaming about snatching Kristens needles and stabbing him repeatedly in the face. But that's normal, right? There's nothing wierd about that...

Poppy Cede said...

Maven - :)

Avi - You know what I meant. Don't make me say it to you.

Stef - Awesome! I look forward to it!

DLil - We should start a petition. Everybody else is running in 2008...

Kristen - Remind me not to meet you in a dark alley, either.

Irene - Thanks!

Molly - Um... It's kinda weird. :)

P'nut said...

I really enjoyed this post. Probably because I feel the exact same way about 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6. How odd. Perhaps you are my doppelganger.

And I truly appreciate your self-censorship on my behalf. You must really love me.

I will attempt to take part in this, but you realize it's going to be difficult for me to find six more weird things about myself, right?

Gecko Rock said...

I'm not quite sure how any of these fall into the "weird" category, but that's just me.