Sunday, January 14, 2007

Questions about aging

Why are my toes no longer straight? Does that mean I have arthritis?

Have I always had all these lines on my hands?!

Why does fluorescent light need to be so cruel about showing every. single. frown line between my eyes? And, were those there last year? Because, I don't remember those...

When did my finger nails turn into my mom's finger nails?

Why do I have aches and pains every day? Could I have a break, please?

Why is it that the grey hair falling across my forehead cannot control itself and stay straight?

Is my night vision getting worse? Or, are headlights getting brighter?

When did teenagers become scary?

When did my butt get so big?!

I guess that's all I have for now. I need to hurry up and have kids so that people don't mistake me for their grandmother...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

As Jack Nicholson said, "What if this is as good as it gets?"

Anonymous said...

It's funny, I was always always overweight as a child, but 3 years ago I had gastric bypass surgery. Now I look at my hands and I'm happy to see the veins and knuckles, and I can amuse myself for quite a long time just flexing my thumb and fingers.

On the flip side, in conversations with mommies, the subject of stretch marks comes up, and I can weigh in (as it were) even though I've never been pregnant.

On the other flip side, it seems like the only readily-accessible lighting is here in the computer room - a big fluorescent light. I went from my afternoony natural light that was tinged red and looked great on my hair (see my myspace picture) to "oh my god, is my skin really transparent? I'm so pale, I'm see-through, and dear Lord I'm never smiling again with the shadows these wrinkles cast!"

Anonymous said...

That last flip side wasn't a complete 180 flip. Just in case you wondered which way I was flipping. The last two flip sides were very close to each other.

Poppy Cede said...

Ms. Flippy ~ I know all about stretch marks without having human kids, but I've had them since I was a kid so I don't consider them as part of my aging enigma. :)

Avitable said...

Well, you are over 30, so you fit the definition of old!

:)