Reflections

Thank you, everyone, for your kind comments. I really need to thank the makers of Immodium. They do such a good job at stopping the ick. I don't know what magic is in those little chewable tablets, but all I know is that at 7:30 last night I was bawling my head off because I could not take the ick any more and then 3 hours later I was sound asleep in bed next to Mr. Poppy who had run out to the store to purchase said chewies. I ate 1/8 of a bagel (scraped off as much of the cream cheese as I could) and 5 bites of white rice (no butter or seasoning) yesterday. I have been rapidly losing weight lately because my body has finally remembered it's old thermostat, but being sick like I was is sooooo not the way to lose weight. It puts me into survival mode and makes my metabolism slow way down. Smart body.

Speaking of survival mode, how many of you are watching The Biggest Loser? I absolutely love that show. When I saw the footage of Matt eating a large plate of food in the middle of the night I felt his shame and I cried hard. It's horrible to allow food to control you. It's just a small setback though, Matt is doing an incredible job overall and I hope he realizes that. When you look at his before picture next to his current body he looks so healthy now. Matt, I know you're not reading my blog, but hang in there. Your teammates have your back. This isn't a game, this is your chance at a lifestyle change. Learn from your mistakes so that you can become a stronger person. And, I know one of you has already heard me say this ( ;) ) but do not allow one setback to give you the permission to give up on yourself. No one is perfect.

My parents are having a great time visiting despite my double sickness and Mr. Poppy's obsession with our house leaking. At least he has finally determined the problem, after we paid hundreds of dollars for someone to fix the rot that occurred at our front entry. The problem seems to be the extension to the threshold. If you don't have gutters or a roofed entry to your home and you do have a threshold extension you might want to take a peek under your entryway to see if your OSB (or plywood, or CDX, or whatever your home is made of) is rotting. Also, if you have a basement that isn't finished, try pulling away the insulation directly under your front door and see if any leaking is occurring. I am not interested in saying that the manufacturer is wrong and horrible and bad. I think this is just a life lesson and we happened to get a door casing with a threshold extension that allows water into our house.

These last few days have not been pleasant. So far this has been the worst vacation I've ever had, but in my typical way I am looking for the good or at least for the lesson I am supposed to take away. I really thought I could not survive one more minute of what I was experiencing - a cold and stomach "flu" at the same time and my husband absolutely obsessed and downright scary about the house problems - but I made it through. I understand that other people go through much harder things. I am very good at other types of bad situations, but when my husband is upset and I have no energy to give to help him I feel...helpless. Being the introvert that I am, I go into myself rather than asking for help. I have been so embarrassed by my inability to help my husband through his situation. It's definitely a test of a marriage, and a test that I feel I failed. I screamed at my husband for obsessing about the house, and became so hysterical that I left the house in the pouring rain while I was sick (yah, I'm smart). Rather than staying to help him through his difficult time I turned against him and scolded him for completely ignoring my parents, paying me no attention, not even taking care of himself while he was really just trying to fix the problems with our house. Rather than supporting him in his time of need I chose to tear him down. I see this was wrong in retrospect, and I'm really hoping I keep this lesson in mind for the future. I don't want a great thing to go to shit because when I don't know how to help someone I choose to bring them down even farther.

I have no high note to end on for this life chapter. I hope my bad experience can perhaps help someone else through a tough situation.

I'm reading all my books shown to the right. I'm loving Dog (thanks to Stacy for suggesting this odd duck book that intrigues me and somehow makes me excited about math again...?) and Indelible (thanks to Karin for being a crime writer instead of a criminal). Tonight is our maiden voyage out of the house to do something fun. We're having dinner at a new restaurant a few towns over. Mr. Poppy is making me rice for lunch so that my first meal in a few days isn't at a fancy restaurant where trouble could brew all over the beautiful marble floor. ;) Hope everyone is having a tolerable if not great day.