They didn't study

No, they really didn't.







I answered my organic chemistry final in this style because I had already given up on passing the lecture. Oddly enough, I got an A in the lab. (Not an A+ because in my haste to hand in my last assignment I forgot to tear out one page of the lab writeup so submitted pages 1, 2, and 4. Oops.)

More amusing test, homework, and essay answers at They didn't study. Thanks to my hot former officemate for the linkage. :)

Intentional bad hair day

This morning I set myself up for failure. I used Pert Plus and then did not use any sort of smoothing product in my hair. I brushed my hair with a paddle brush then I combed it, except for the very front, because I thought it was funny. The following brief conversation occurred when I walked into the master bathroom while Hay was getting ready for work:

Hay: I like hair your today!
Poppy: Really?! It looks so 80s!
Hay: Didn't you hear? The 80s are back in. You're in style!
Poppy: That was so not intentional...



It appears that even Wish Bear is having a bad hair day today in sympathy of my own.

Yes, they are, in fact, smaller.

BJ Novak from The Office demonstrates on Conan O'Brien that the Cadbury egg has actually shrunk in size, despite Cadbury's claim to the contrary:



And the FAQ sheet which lies to us:

Kelly Ripa's outie now an innie

I'm Not Obsessed posted a story about Shape magazine airbrushing Kelly's belly button from an outie to an innie. Apparently you're only in shape if your navel goes inward? Which means I technically am in shape! YAY!!!!!!!! That means I can keep drinking my Starbucks drinks, eating fries and lots of meat, and not working out evah! SCORE~! :P

Any outies (or innies) wanna chime in on this? Hmm. I'm not sure I've ever even see any outies up close and personal, just in photos... How can that be?

A shot of Kelly's real stomach | A shot of Kelly's airbrushed stomach

In case you're interested, here's an article about why belly buttons are outies or innies. I think the old way of thinking is kinda obvious, but it never occurred to me that umbilical hernias might be the cause for outies.


(And apparently I'm chatty today. Sorry to Stef and all the others I drive nuts when I post like a fiend. :)

Worth your time

A's non-traditional vegan Easter meal spread. :)



...and totally not related, I've been playing Chinese vs. Japanese in instant message with a colleague all morning and we started talking about sharing our iTunes collections. I explained why I don't do this, because I don't want to have to edit my song names, that "people swear, that's life," and in response he sent me Pop Muzik Mashup -Exactshit:



He rawks. :) Ironically, he does not know my secret blog identity, so it's only funny to me that he sent me something poppy. :)

Admittance

Hi. Maybe you weren't around this weekend. If you weren't, please go read this post and follow its instructions. Thanks to Spéncèr, Molly, and Maman for voting. If anyone else voted I thank you as well and you should fess up. :)

Speaking of fessing up, this postcard from PostSecret deserves attention:



I'm sure this postcard was very liberating, but it amuses me to no end that this was posted on a Christian holiday (that'd be Easter). Question: Don't all guys (who prefer or like women) want to have sex with every woman they see? I wonder how hard it is for him to sit through bible study with his teacher. I think if I were in his situation I just wouldn't be able to do it, I'd have to switch study groups. Or, I'd resolve myself to the fact that I won't be learning The Word, I'll just be learning to deepen my crush on the object of my affection. What do you all think?

The final fess up, which is actually just something interesting that has happened to me: I met Bob Keeshan (aka Captain Kangaroo) while he was still alive. Not as nice in real life as he was on the TV. Honestly, who is? I met him a few times, most notably at the wedding of my ex-boyfriend's father to the family friend of Bob. The very strange thing is that Bob gave a really gruff toast directly after the justice of the peace proclaimed that the bride and groom were now wife and husband. We all just looked at each other while we raised our glasses and drank. And then we all watched the bride and groom walk into the kitchen to go get plastered. :)

And yes, one more mini fess up after I promised the previous was the last: I am in fact cheating by posting this on Sunday with Monday's date, but Blogger sucks and doesn't let me hold back posts until their timestamp. I'll make the switch to Wordpress some day... I'm just too lazy and busy to do it today. It's Monday morning, and I'm republishing, so technically I'm publishing on Monday? :)

Sunday, bloody Sunday I had a clever title but it was eaten by The Man.

Sorry, that was a little gross. So, the strikeouts: I was going to do a meme today, and it was going to be kinda cool, but I realized that the answers were just a little too revealing. Like I haven't done a lot of revealing lately? Even I have my lines to draw. So, no meme.

How about SUNDAY GARDEN PARTY MINIATURE EDITION WITH MORE SNOW CROCUSES!!!!!! instead? And spider pictures. And snow pictures. One thing to say: Effing power lines, always ruining the shot. Another thing to say: This set isn't actually so mini. Hmm. Semi-mini. Anyway, here's a teaser:



Rest at flickr.

Some thankfulness: Blogger ate this the first time, so I shall do the condensed version. Thanks to Stef at Stefanie Says for semi-randomly-but-with-semi-purpose sending me The Essential Johnny Cash from my Amazon Wish List!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been wanting that double album ever since I saw Walk the Line, and actually quite a bit longer because I am a Cash fan who just happens to not have any of his music really. Hay had American I-IV but somehow only American IV is still in the house, which has my absolutely favoritest covers by Johnny, Hurt (NIN) and Personal Jesus (Depeche Mode). I grew up listening to Johnny in my house because after my mom divorced my dad she dated a man who loved country music. This made me hate it for the rest of my childhood, but then when I was 19 I almost started liking it again when Hot Roommate had his friend from Australia over for a few weeks and he was an absolute country music fanatic. (Yes, there is country music in Australia.) All he did the entire time he was over was talk about country music, which I didn’t mind because it gave me an excuse to stare deep into his eyes and fantasize about totally making out with him. :D When I finally did enjoy country music again was at age 22 when I went to visit my friend and colleague in New Mexico who drove me to Tucson, AZ to see her boyfriend-at-the-time (she has finally realized she is a lesbian and is now happily married to a wonderful woman). Um, anyway, she and her boyfriend really liked country music and she explained to me that I need to broaden my horizons and get over my past. So I did. And now I love it. Not my favorite genre, but I was repulsed by it before and no longer am.

Also thankfulness: To Bdogg (who is on hiatus, in case you were wondering where the heck she's been) and Avi who independently talked me into loving Nine Inch Nails. I purchased The Downward Spiral because iTunes actually had it. What they don't have which B and Avi highly recommend: Pretty Hate Machine and Broken which are also not sold through Amazon so B suggested I try eBay but I kept getting botbid (that's outbid by a fricking bot set to outbid me, which is really cool if you're the one using it, but not so cool if you're on the receiving end of botbidedness). Anyway, yesterday I did one more search for these albums and guess where I found them? Wal*Mart online. Soooooo, between the dates of April 12 and 17 I shall become the proud owner of PHM and Broken, and my music collection will go a little bit more to the hard side. Probably a good thing because I realized lately there is a lot of emo-inducing music in there. I allowed myself to be swayed by younger people the last few years (and by young I mean adult age but just barely). (Spéncèr, je vous promets I am not referring to your music taste in this statement.)

Okay, and final thankfulness: To B again because she is my bestest friend in the entire world and you wish you had a friend this awesome because, for the first time in 15 years, I RECEIVED AN EASTER BASKET! FROM HER!!!!! I HAD JUST BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT LACK OF BASKET EARLIER THAT DAY, AND I CAME HOME FROM THE MOVIES TO FIND THAT B'S BASKET HAD ARRIVED! NO, I DON'T THINK I CAN STOP YELLING. SHE'S JUST THAT. AWESOME. AND. AWESOMER. BESTEST FRIEND EVAH!!!!!!!!!! A photo representation of said basket:

     


And, for your viewing pleasure, speed painting with ketchup and french fries:



If you're a celebrator, happy bunny day! (Apparently Google is not, no special Google front page today. It really is Easter, right? :)

Warm weather remembrances - poppy edition

This is why I enjoy being Poppy, because poppies are beautiful. :) I am completely not bragging about my mad photo skillz, but this is one of the most beautiful images I've ever seen and I did in fact take it myself.

Quickies

I just ate an entire burrito. My tummy is happppppy.

Last night's Office was a bit weak. Avi and I agree John Krasinski looked tired. Molly and I agree we're so over Jam it's not funny. Hay and I loved Angela's story line the best. The little mini orgasms she kept having over everyone's recounts were hilarious. And when Creed didn't play along nicely was the best. Both Hay and I had to look away when we saw Ryan and Kelly making out. GET. A. ROOM. :) Anyone else want to chime in on the supersized episode?

Hay and I are going directly from work to see GRINDHOUSE and I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were also supposed to go to see the in-laws this weekend but that fell through due to weather so I'll be home on either my living room or office couch feverishly working away on some projects for work that are never going to get done during the work week. Yay, me. At least I have some Lindt wafer milk chocolate bars to help me out with that.

[This section intentionally left blank, although a complete thought is hidden here.]

Freddy, this one's for you.

This morning Hay and I entered into a discussion about the song Another One Bites the Dust. I don't quite remember how. Something he said made me say something that twisted the words of the song and he didn't understand what I was saying so I sang, "another one bites the dust! *Freddy pelvic thrust* HUH! *giggle*" and then he understood.

A reminder: My parents divorced when I was three. I went with Mom, my brother went with Dad. I promise this is a segue.

When I was 8 my big brother severely enjoyed torturing me in any way possible. I lived in a development that was a small forest away from our local grocery store and mall. One weekend when (let's name my brother, shall we? hmm, ... Chip?) Chip was over to my house for the weekend he took his tape recorder and dragged me along through the woods to go to the mall. We spent several hours there getting kicked out of such high class establishments as Radio Shack, Spencer's Gifts*, and my most favoritest shop when I was a kid called Serendipity then hitting up the arcade until all our money and tokens were gone.

Several hours later we left the mall to go home. It was dark outside. No moon. Spooky, eerie quiet except for frogs and crickets and scurrying woodland animals. As my brother and I walked back through the forest he pressed play on his tape recorder and Freddy Mercury's voice croaked out a very apropos "another one bites the dust, another one bites the dust, another one bites the dust, another one bites the dust" then the guitar played.


Oh, I cannot even explain to you how FAR-EAKED OUT I was. I started screaming my little head off and ran as fast as my little legs could carry me in the dark, all the way back home while my brother laughed (maniacally) behind me.

As an adult I always laugh when I remember this story, because the scariest thing I can think of about Freddy is that he liked to wear a lot of mantoe-inducing suits then stick one leg up on an amp while he sang to his audience.

In case you need a reminder of the song:



*So, technically, I've been to a shop with sex toys but it's not a sex shop.

Tim Gunn will not auf himself

This just in: Mr. Gunn has signed for a fourth season with Project Runway. Good thing, because I seriously wouldn't watch it if he wasn't on there.

I know I said this about Paige Davis almost exactly two years ago when she was kicked off Trading Spaces, but I love Doug Wilson so I secretly kept watching. :D If Doug isn't in the episode I fast forward to the reveal then spend 5 minutes wondering why I'm wasting my life and wish I was watching Moving Up instead.

I am not a follower, I'm a chooser.

As I mentioned, Avi did this meme today and gave totally false answers. I know this because who thinks placenta is Chinese food?! I'm choosing to give mostly serious answers with my Poppy humor injection.

1. Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
   

   Sex is best whenever it is offered to me.

   
   
2. On which side of the bed do you sleep?
   

   When I'm lying down it's the left side. When I'm standing up it's the right side.

   
   
3. Pork, beef, or chicken?
   

   Steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak steak BEEF steak steak steak steak steak steak.

   
   
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
   

   Not that I recall.

   
   
5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on?
   

   Right.

   
   
6. Candles or incense?
   

   Hay likes candles so we have them. I could give a care. When I was in high school I would have chosen incense. I'm not in high school anymore. But I love fire?

   
   
7. Do you dance when no one is watching?
   

   I dance when Hay and the kitties are watching. If anyone else is watching I'll do a little bit of sit down dancing, but that's it.

   
   
8. Did you play doctor when you were little?
   

   Um, no. But I did play "lift up your shirt" with my bestest girl friend Blake in 3rd grade?

   
   
9. Stove top cooking or microwave?
   

   Stoooooooove.

   
   
10. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty?
    

    I don't care.

    
    
11. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
    

    I return my cart to those corrals in the parking lot. If the store doesn't have those then they can walk their ass outside and come get my cart. :)

    
    
12. Shower or bath?
    

    Shower for daily cleaning, bath for relaxing and other ulterior motive-type activities.

    
    
13. Do you pee in the shower?
    

    Yes, yes I do. And if anyone has a problem with that I'm peeing on your foot.

    
    
14. Mexican or Chinese food?
    

    I choose Mexican more frequently, but love them both.

    
    
15. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
    

    AGGRESSIVE. :D

    
    
16. Do you own sex toys?
    

    No comment.

    
    
17. Corn dogs or hot dogs?
    

    Corn dogs with mustard.

    
    
18. Your favorite restaurant?
    

    A steak house. Any steak house. With good steak. Please. YUM.

    
    
19. What did you have for lunch today?
    

    Parmesan garlic & herb pita chips (so far).

    
    
20. When did you last fall down?
    

    The last time I remember falling down was when I had on slippery socks and lost my footing on the very top stair of the second story of our home. I slid all. the. way. down. on my back. I was black and blue for weeks.

    
    
21. Have you ever wished someone were dead?
    

    Who hasn't?

    
    
22. Love or money?
    

    Both. :)

    
    
23. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn’t?
    

    Wasn't what? In my family? Of course. Who makes these stupid questions?

    
    
24. Oreos or vanilla wafers?
    

    Neither. Unless we're talking mint chocolate covered Oreos, and then GAME ON.

    
    
25. How do you like your steak?
    

    Medium, medium well, or well done — depends how much I trust the place cooking it.

    
    
26. How do you like your eggs?
    

    I almost never like my eggs any way whatsoever, but I occasionally enjoy them over hard or in omelette form.

    
    
27. Have you ever knocked someone off their feet in a fight?
    

    I pushed my cousin over when she pushed me first. I was 12. She was 9. Does that count?

    
    
28. Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel?
    

    I have spent enough nights outside thinking I was going to freeze to death, so I will always and forever choose the five star hotel.

    
    
29. Would you rather have a root canal or minor surgery?
    

    Minor surgery.

    
    
30. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
    

    My first instinct is no, but I guess it depends what kind of money we're talking.

    
    
31. Would you rather have lice or an STD?
    

    An STD. :D

    
    
32. What’s your favorite hard candy?
    

    Smarties? Sweet-Tarts? I dunno, I don't really eat hard candy.

    
    
33. Ever been to a strip club?
    

    Not for lack of wanting.

    
    
34. Ever been to a bar?
    

    Okay, this is another stupid question. YES, I've been to "a" bar.

    
    
35. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
    

    Maybe. :)

    
    
36. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
    

    Yes, I have been that drunk. It was fun getting there but not fun for anyone taking care of me.

    
    
37. Kissed someone of the same sex?
    

    Yes.

    
    
38. Had sex in the car?
    

    Yes.

    
    
39. Had sex at the beach?
    

    Yes.

    
    
40. Had sex in a movie theater?
    

    No.

    
    
41. Had sex in a bathroom?
    

    Yes.

    
    
42. Have you ever been in an “adult” store?
    

    No, but I've been to the porn section of my local movie store...? Oh, oh! And I've looked in the window of a sex shop in Quebec!

    
    
43. Is there anyone on your blogroll you would ever consider having sex with?
    

    No comment.

    
    
44. Have you been caught having sex?
    

    Yes.

    
    
45. Have you ever kissed a stranger?
    

    Um. No? Kind of a stranger, I'd just met him? But, that's not what you mean, meme.

    
    
46. Does anyone have naughty pictures of you?
    

    I am definitely pleading the blogger fifth on this one.

Okay, your turn. You do this if you dare.

busy busy

Hi everyone,

I have mad deadlines today, so I'll be back around later.

Please feel free to talk amongst yourselves in the comments for now, I really enjoy your comments. And I will answer your yesterday comments later today, je vous promets.

If you'd like a sneak peek at my post for later, go visit Avi. Be forewarned: His comments section is NSFW!!!!! (And neither is any part of his site, frankly. :P )

Later!

~P

PS - NO REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS EGGS LEFT AT THE STORE THIS MORNING!!! I'M GONNA CRY!!!!! (I bought 3 packages of king-size pb cups, but they were all outta eggs. I can't even type what I mean today. Bad...)

Update: I found time to respond to comments. Okay, I stole time to respond to comments. But no meme yet.

Postal. (aka "The softer side of Poppy.")

Hi. Allow me to preface: I predominantly work with men or really dedicated-to-their-careers women. I want to make it clear that I do like women just fine. I promise I do. A lot of my favoritest bloggers are women, I even have real life friends who are women, and a lot of the people who influence my every day life personally and professionally are women. So, I'm not talking about you or them.

Who I am talking about are those women who I am not friends with* who show up in my doorway or in the general hallway, blocking the exit, then proceed to: complain REALLY LOUDLY about work; talk about their kids, their pets, their husbands, their gardens, their frilly-girly-shit; ask "does my hair look okay?", "oh, that's a cute outfit, where'd you get it?!", "did you hear what happened to Susie today??"; and all that other freakin' bullshit the busy bee ladies like to talk about.

We're at work. Could we perhaps FOCUS for two secs and discuss... oh, I dunno... work? At least could you get the fuck out of my doorway so that I don't have to use my "DEFENSIVE" stance on you? Because that's going to scare the crap out of you and then I'll become the gossip fodder. And I don't much care for being gossiped about. I know I'm all business, I know you're the problem, and I know that I'm choosing business over you. Smarts a bit to hear that, doesn't it?

And when I'm about to go get my burrito because I'm so fucking starving I'm about to gnaw my hand off is not the time to stop me to talk for half an hour about any of the above verboten topics.

Don't include me in your fun time and I won't include you in mine. (Trust me, you don't want in on my fun time, busy bees. My fun time will melt your little brains.)



*If you're my friend then you already know I'm multi-tasking on about 10 things at once and you won't mind that I'm listening but emailing, IMing, writing various documents, testing out technology, scheduling myself or a group for the millionth meeting (I'm really good at it, so I choose to do it), reading some technical something-or-other, or telling you to hold on a sec so I can make a business phone call unless you say, "[Poppy], I need to talk to you about something and I need your undivided attention." Because you deserve my undivided attention. The busy bees? They do not.

The MOOFIA

There's a prize inside.



Go find out what the prize is at flickr.

Go find out more about The MOOFIA at Strangeco.

I am world-famous

Through Blogger's clever word verification I have now been crowned Slut of the World. (Okay, that's a slight exaggeration.) Thanks, Blogger! And to Sourpuss for a) making it happen; b) promoting it!! :)

FREE CONE DAY!!!!!!@!~~!!@!#@11`XOR and other emphaticness

Tuesday April 17th from 12pm until 8pm at participating Ben & Jerry's world-wide you will receive a free ice cream cone. Get your cone on?

New, supersized episode of The Office this Thursday!!!!! It starts at 8pm, so ADJUST YOUR TIMERS, YO.

I am so jealous because Avi is seeing this RIGHT NOW, but Hay and I are going to see Grindhouse this Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm sure Avi will ruin it for us all in the comments, so visit cautiously. ;) And, in case you need a reminder, here's the preview:



Emphaticness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ack!

I totally forgot to post today! Back-to-back-to-back-to-back meetings will do that to a girl. Um. More later?

dark alleys

I'm apparently a very good yeller, a very good kicker, a very good defensive puncher, and seriously fantastic at kneeing in the groin. And it's only week 2. Hmm. I will be lethal by the end.

Despite being told that our sessions would be male-free until the last class there was a severely hot off-duty police officer there tonight. His arms are bigger than my thighs. His southern drawl buttery smooth. His eyes bluer than (okay, they're really blue). And when he yells "NO" I just want to give him a big hug and tell him it's okay. He was the only other left-handed person in the room so he spent a fair amount of time showing me how to do all of the moves left-handed. I did not complain.

During the very end of our session we were practicing defensive hand gestures with the instructor. When it was my turn to go up I was actually kinda spacing off because I was a bit tired. She yelled "DEFENSIVE" and I got into my stance. But then I forgot what my objective was and I realized just in time that I was actually ready to throw a punch just as she was about to say "READY" so I pulled out of defensive mode, explained that I needed a redo because I was about to punch her, and everyone laughed except of course the instructor who thanked me for realizing ahead of time what I was going to do to her and stopping it from happening. Oops. :) Got a little overenthusiastic.

I can't believe how awesome my back feels! Apparently self defense is really good for it!! (YAR! :)

Random.

I was reading a Slashfood post (via Google Reader, no less) from an author who is addicted to Twitter. I visited Twitter to find one submitter saying two people had been shot at Gould Hall (University of Washington, although he didn't specify that) and he didn't feel comfortable going to class. I went to Google News and found this article from this morning. Bizarre way to find out about this... And the hall's blueprints are online. Hmm.