Monday, October 15, 2007

Confercation day 2

Day 2 was the start of the conference. Or so we thought. It actually started that night, so we instead decided to go to Epcot. :) My luggage had arrived at 3am but I was not awake when the bell service called to tell me. When I woke up at 6am I called down and asked for it to be delivered because (um, I'm not awake at 6am ever, I'm lucky if I can find my pants let alone carry luggage through a hotel).

Back to Epcot: We rode Test Track, then Mission Space (thanks, Gary!!!!!), and then Soarin'. After Mission Space I had to babysit G because he was REALLY sick. He'd gotten drunk the night before on 4 drinks even though he weighs (somewhere in the middle of 200s) because he is diabetic, and then he ate a bunch of fruit for breakfast. Mission Space is a g-force ride. You can either tolerate it or you can't; he couldn't. So, I was nice and sat with him and asked him what I could do for him to help him feel better. He started blathering on about (I don't remember what, his mother? the Galapagos Islands? topics only Mikey would care about?) until J called me to say "I've got our passes to Soarin', start walking to me" so we did. Oh, yes! G told me he sweats a lot. Charming. I don't mind if people sweat a lot, but ... um... well, whatever, it passed the time.

P1000135.JPG When we got to the building where Soarin' was G proceeded to consume an entire water and entire package of beef jerky while J and I went on the Living with the Land ride. We then convinced him to walk around with us since he wasn't ready to do Soarin' quite yet. We started wandering through the international pavilion, tasting the foods of Argentina, Mexico, China, and India. We then went to Norway and had bakery food (I had chocolate chocolate cake :p) and then went into the gift shop where I purchased Linie somethingorother which we referred to on the trip as "Maelstrom". Maelstrom is actually a boat ride that is evil and goes backwards and reminds of Charlie and Chocolate Factory. And that alcohol pretty much does the same fucking thing to you. I'll chronicle that a bit later.

So, after this boat ride I think we did the Mexico boat ride. It had Donald Duck and Pancho and (oh, whoever else) and it was really lame. I also got a bunch of chocolates at the UK pavilion because I loves me some yummy chocolate. While at the Canada pavilion G said something to me that insinuated I care if he's a bad boy on the trip which I didn't because he's not my responsibility, to which some RANDOM guy said I was a bunch of trouble. And, rather than clearing up the fact that G and I were not together even though we were talking about his WIFE actually caring, G just let that guy think we were doin' it. Such a gentleman and a scholar.

P1000298.JPG After pavilions G was starting to be a fuckwad, saying how the magic of Disney was now gone because he didn't think the food at the pavilions was any good. J and I walked ahead and secretly mumbled about how thrilled we were that G was with us on this trip, then we headed over to Soarin'. I was pretty worn out from the day so the last happiness I could muster was a giggle over a squirrel eating a Cheeto. We finally got to Soarin' and got on the very top of the ride, but I was sitting on the very edge of the room and was tired and cranky at G so I couldn't get into the whole "ooooh, ahhhh, we're soarin'" effect of it and had a pretty unawesome time.

When we finally got off that ride we collected our Maelstrom booze from the front of the park then missed our bus home by exactly 3 seconds so we took a different bus to a different resort then we called the front desk to pretend we were lost and needed a cab back to our resort. Turns out cabs couldn't come to where we were so we took another bus to 3 stops further and then we walked from there on the outskirts of Downtown Disney back to our hotel.

We decided this would be a good night to go to Benihana rather than attend the opening event for the conference, which was just a mixer. G followed me into my room while J went to his room. He then immediately asked to do shots with me. I did two big shots with him and we instantly got buzzed out of our fucking gords from the stuff. While drunk G proceeded to tell me that J and his girlfriend K had said how much like G's wife I am. (Let me just clarify: I am not like her. I just kinda sorta look like her.) He then proceeded to hit on me. I eventually showed him the door and said, "go call your wife." J called to ask what we were up to and I told him we were drunk. J came down and I told him what had just transpired with G. J apologized profusely then did another shot with me. We all then went to Benihana for dinner and had a bunch of sake while we whispered to each other behind our menus so that we didn't swear in front of the nice family from Tennessee at the other end of the table. :) So, for me this is 3 shots of Maelstrom, 3 shots of sake, I'm drunk texting people in the bathroom (heh, yup), and I'm the one paying the bill but I forgot to get a copy of that receipt. ;) We then wander up to G's room to watch more sports (yah, no recollection) and I notice that both G's beds look slept in so I make a comment about that and he acts decidedly evasive. We all have a beer to calm down from our night of drinking and somehow J and I sober up but G gets drunker, proclaims that I have a crush on him and that he won't be doing anything with me on this trip. You should have seen my mouth. It was agape. I never use that word, but that's definitely what it was. J thought this was all in good fun so he said nothing about it. I was stunned for a bit, decided to drop the subject, then G passed out and I left and went to bed.


Avitable said...

I've never heard a conference sound so exciting before!

And this really is a hilarious stream of consciousness to read.

New York City's Watchdog said...

Hmmm... water + beef jerky to cure a hangover. Sounds like an interesting combination.

Oh and yeah, G sounds like an asshat.

Bearette24 said...

I love the squirrel with the baby carrot.

I wonder who slept in the other bed?

Poppy Cede said...

Avi, the conference part is coming up.

Dawg, yah.

Bearette, I haven't talked about it yet, because I'm not up to that day, but eventually J lets me in on the secret that G is mostly talk. My guess is that either he slept in both beds or he was trying to look "cool" by having both beds unmade. Either way, I don't care even a tiny bit what the real story is there. :)

Mel said...

Waiting patiently for the part of the story where you smoke a cigar! :)

Oh yeah, and seriously, G sounds like a dick. Ugh.

Joefish said...

There are a lot of fantastic things in this post, but there's one part in particular that rings false.

I do not believe you never use the word "agape."

Kristen said...

Last time I went to Disney, it was with Uncle Pete. He wasn't my uncle, really, but I called him that. He was a paraplegic, so we got to jump all the lines. Always visit amusement parks with someone who's physically disabled.

G sounds like an assbot. You and J should have spent more time shooting spitwads into his hair.

Poppy Cede said...

Mel, day 3. :)

Jfu, I write a literary masterpiece and you focus on the word "agape"? ... Yah, I'm busted. I use that word daily. How did you know?!

K, I don't think I could ever do that. Ever. I mean, I don't actually *know* any paraplegics to take with me, but that seems so freaking wrong. ... Hmm.