Saturday, October 14, 2006

Early New Year's resolution

With the political campaigning season upon us I have been bursting out with rage at the local politicians I have either seen on TV or in person using slimy methods to meet The Voters. The other day I caught myself in the middle of my rage at a local politician my dad and brother accidentally spoke with at our local pizza place and decided that I don't like myself when I'm hating people. So, I've decided to stop hating in general, particularly the ironic circumstance of hating hate.

Please support me in this decision by not mentioning the following topics: politics (period), fungus consumption, child molestation/pornography, the highly privileged looking down upon the rest of us, animal cruelty, Jay Leno, catty bitches, domestic violence, K-Fed, hunting, the untimely demise of Dead Like Me, tail docking, inconsiderate projectile vomiting, war (“what is it good for?”), misogyny, and Mel Gibson. Edit: And driving/road rage! How could I forget that one?!

Thank you for helping me to not be compared to my Crazy Aunt who also spits rage-infested monologues to empty rooms, and have a great day.


Avitable said...

You've inspired me to try to write all of that in one paragraph:

While having sex with a 14-year old girl and eating mushrooms, I was talking to the incumbent mayor about how stupid people are who need welfare. She was slapping a dog around while watching the Tonight Show and we decided that we should take a trip to the woods and hunt her ex-husband, then stop by to have the beaten dog's tail docked. On the drive over there, she made a snide remark about Dead Like Me ending, and so I punched her, which caused her to projective vomit all over me. I dressed like Mel Gibson in Braveheart and declared war on her, chased her home, ran her off the road, and destroyed her car, all while humming PopoZao.

NotCarrie said...

I'm in! Except, I just watched my first episode of Dead Like Me:(

It's Me, Maven... said...

Okay I noticed you had "tail docking" on your list, but omitted "penis docking." Is it fair to deduce that you're pro-penis docking?

Just curious...

Poppy Cede said...

Avi, I knew you'd come through for me. :)

NC, keep watching the show! It is awesome. I hope you're starting from the beginning. The show's progression is part of its charm. I was devastated when I found out it was cancelled. I'm still not over it, but at least our Sci Fi channel airs the reruns.

NM, I'm not saying I'm pro penis docking, but I will admit that tail docking enrages me much more. Every time I watch The Soup and the Clip of the Week appears I hide my eyes. When I was a teenager I had to stand in surgery and watch 8 little pups get their tails docked, and I've never been the same since. TRAUMA!