about fucking time!!!

It's 21:53 in Poppyland and the Top Chef season finale has finally shown up in iTunes after much refreshing of the iTunes page.

a simple request

Please do not tell me who won Top Chef. I have to wait for the episode to be available via iTunes and those bastards are slow about delivering. siiiiiigh-whine-moan

My eyes just bugged out of my head.

B just emailed me:

Oh, I was looking around at restaurants, and it appears that our beloved Tom Colicchio has a restaurant here in Dallas. Of course, he probably wouldn't be there, but man, just to be in that man's atmosphere would be breathtaking. Sigh...

Oh, mew mew mew... Cannot wait to visit her!!

in which fauxmicah admits to being from MA

On Top Chef: Watch What Happens all three seasons of contestants come together to answer fan questions.

A fan calls out Micah for her yearbook pics on the web. She admits she's American, that she grew up in Massachusetts, that her dad is South African, that she eats Stroganoff and Hungarian Goulash, all with her South African accent. ... Fauxmicah.

RW, do you believe me now?

Further "proof" from a sibling over at Amuse Biatch:

ABSOLUTELY FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trust me, I grew up in the same house as her, she is my younger sister!

Our father is from Cape Town, South Africa, and we have been there. But we were all born and raised in Massachusetts, but we absolutely don't have the typical pak the cah accent, but neither our younger brother or me sound like Micah.

All our family and friends have no clue where she invented this from.

Ciao
[redacted], nee Edelstein

I can't confirm that person is really her sister, but let's trust that the person is who she says she is. Anyone else on the planet seems more trustworthy than fauxmicah right now.

She was an American girl *

RW, I need you to chime in here at your earliest convenience please. And B?

In tonight's Top Chef episode Micah Edelstein says:
"I'm from South Africa. I've never eaten fried chicken. It's just not something that interests me in the slightest. Chicken a la King? I don't even know what that is... My reaction to American comfort food: Uuuuuuhhh!"

Would you like to say that again, Faux-Micah from Bridgewater, Massachusetts? RW, I was giving her the benefit of the doubt, but now she's just a LIAR.



*Thank you to Tom Petty for my post title.

This could be considered a fetish. Technically.

Dear Bravo,

I want you to keep producing new episode after new episode of Top Chef so that I am never left without a new one to watch. I offer nothing in return. Thank you.

Kisses,
~Popparella


PS - I wanna dry hump Tom and Padma. But, really just their eyes. And that's probably gross. Is that gross? Yah... Although, not grosser than some of the food on that show.

Two great tastes that don't taste great together!

The words "meat" and "lollipop" should never be uttered in the same sentence. I know it's a Top Chef favorite, but it truly makes me green just to hear it. Say it out loud, blogland: Meat lollipop.

So very very wrong.

Ilan loves the foam

What you're thinking right now is precisely what I was thinking when I watched Ilan in the Top Chef 4 Star All Stars Season 1 vs. Season 2 showdown. No word yet if he chipped a tooth.

Thanks to TC:TCWD for capturing the image.

Update: I am posting a clearer photo from TC:TCWD. And I still don't know if he chipped a tooth, but I think he thinks it was worth it. :P

Bring your A game, chitches!*

Slashfood reports:

The third season of Bravo's Top Chef is slated to begin on June 13th, this round to be held in Miami, Florida. Chef Tom Colicchio will be returning as head judge, as will host Padma Lakashmi and judge Gail Simmons. The panel will be rounded out with the addition of Ted Allen - of Bravo's Queer Eye for the Straight Guy fame.

In case that just isn't enough culinary madness for you, Bravo will also be broadcasting an "all-star grudge match" between four Season 1 contestants (Harold Dieterle, Stephen Asprinio, Tiffani Faison, and Dave Martin) and four Season 2 contestants (Ilan Hall, Sam Talbot, Elia Aboumrad, and Marcel Vigneron ) to be aired on June 6th, culminating with the teams serving their meals to the new chefs of Season 3.

I hope Tiffani and Ilan die a horrible death fall off the stage and have to sit out of the competition.




*Sometimes I think I'm being obvious but others don't catch on, so I'll deconstruct: chef + bitches = chitches. Chit is also what my grandmother says instead of shit, so that makes it even funnier for me.

TC s3 6/6

yay!

Top Chef season 2: The finale

I know there's no chance that Marcel reads my blog, and I know that there's no chance he's winning tonight (based on comments by Gail Simmons and the magazine leak), but I'd just like to say: Marcel, I am rooting for you. You can do no wrong in my eyes, particularly after I saw all that everyone else did to you. And, seriously, you make the better food.

Okay, I've said what I needed to say. May the best man win. (Not Ilan.)

Update: I know who wins, but don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. :) Can't promise that someone won't give it away in the comment section, though. If you want to ruin it for yourself, click here. Also, here's Slashfood's review of the final episode.

Quickies

If I didn't feel green from all the vegetables I've eaten this week I'm certainly feeling green after eating 3.5 servings of Andy Capp's Hot Fries, so I will be in the bathroom while you read these stories and/or watch these videos:

• How to eulogize the dad no one likes?
  
• Cooking Under Pressure, That’s Reality - a Top Chef article
  
• HollywoodPressTV talks with Creed Bratton of The Office - click on CREED BRATTON PT.1 in the right pane;NSFW due to language
  
• Don't get in the way of the 'Idol' 'death star
  
• “Vista’s pretty, but it’s a shameless Mac OS X imitator” (they just can't leave that Mac vs. Windows war alone even though they're in bed together...)
  
• Where are they now? Interview with “Switcher Girl” Ellen Feiss

Keyword search: top chef ruined endings 2007

*** NOT A SPOILER, UNLESS YOU MAKE IT ONE YOURSELF ***

How ironic since, for the first time in two seasons, I started my 11:15pm recording of Top Chef only to unintentionally catch the ending of its 10:00pm run which instantly showed the chefs who were eliminated in Hawaii. My jaw dropped. Dropped. Not only was I traumatized by the ruined ending, but I was traumatized by who was cut. Que la freakando f, man?! And stupid Gail Simmons gave a spoiler away about who doesn't win when she was doing an interview with Cliff via Andy Cohen's blog. So now I know who wins. THANKS, GAIL. THANKS, DISHTVDVRSTUPIDITY.

*** NOT A SPOILER, UNLESS YOU MAKE IT ONE YOURSELF ***

In case you really do want to spoil the episode for yourself, visit Slashfood.

New arrival: Employee of the Month ...and cheffery

Yup, really, The Illusionist never arrived. We have now received a third movie in the time it has taken for The Illusionist to (never) arrive.

Okay, and I am literally watching Top Chef right now and absolutely sick to my stomach that Cliff is holding Marcel down to try to get someone else to shave his hair off. I know what the intention is, but ... if I had just been woken up and there was suddenly anyone pinning me down on the ground I would think I was about to be assaulted (physically, sexually, both). Ugh. I can guess the ending on this. Bybye, Cliff. Good riddance!

“Please pack your knives and GO.”

Did anyone watch the supersized Top Chef this week?

I can't say Marcel is my favorite person in the world, but Betty, Sam, and Ilan were being so mean to him that I yelled at the screen that I hoped they all went home before him! And, if you haven't seen the episode I won't ruin it by telling you how judges' table played out. I think the judges chose the right reasons to send this week's person packing.

Nice job, Michael! Vicodin inspires you to cook great food! Perhaps you need to be medicated to be a great chef. Not good... The look on Debi Mazar's face when she saw Michael's effed up mouth was priceless. :) She asked for him to come out! Her own fault!