Saturday, March 31, 2007

we doin' things that the girls don't doooo

I met Tug through Avi when she mistook me for a guy and proposed marriage to me. Tug rocks. How can you not rock with a name like Tug? (Right, Molly? :) I found this meme chez Tug and decided to play along.

Have you ever had an argument with a teacher?
Yes I have. With the very same teacher who had sex with me while reciting Shakespeare in my dream when I was a high school Sophomore. I liked him enough to challenge him when I didn't agree with him. He respected that about me.

Can you count in Roman numerals?
Of course I can! What kinda question is this?!

Are you bilingual?
No, I'm multilingual.

Do you know how your car’s engine works?
I turn the key in the ignition and little hamsters start running for their lives in a big wheel. Right?

Can you program the time on a VCR?
I learned this skill when I was in elementary school. I haven't done it in a while since our VCRs are in a closet upstairs, but I'm sure it's like riding a bike.

How many email addresses do you have?
I don't know. 20? A million? A lot.

Do you own a slinky?
No, but I give them out as presents to my friends' kids so that they stay grounded.

Do you talk to yourself?
The voices in my head do that for me. (Tug's answer preserved. :)

Do you have a tough time remembering people’s names?
No, that is not a problem I have. I remember the name of pretty much anyone I've ever met for longer than 5 minutes. It's tiring.

Did you go stag to your Senior Prom?
Although I was asked by three guys I chose not to go with any of them. I'm just not a prom kinda gal.

Is any leftover food currently residing in your refrigerator?
Yes, and it will not be eaten. :)

Are you high maintenance?
I guess that depends who you ask. I am opinionated.

How do you want to be proposed to?
In retrospect, no differently than I was.

Do you work out regularly?
I know what is meant by this and I refuse to acknowledge the question.

Do you care about your appearance?
Yes, although I don't do much to present myself well.

Describe the person of your dreams:
Kind. Respectful. Young, hot, rich, strong hands for massages... What? IT'S.A.DREAM. (Tug's answer preserved, except I also add: Funny and intelligent.)

Do you like to be tan?
I don't even know what tan is. I lobster instantly.

If you had your choice of anyone in the world to spend a night with, who would it be?
:) No comment.

How many keys are on your key ring?
Less than 10 on the set I keep in my pants pocket. More than 10 on the set I keep in my jacket pocket.

How much money is in your wallet/purse right at this moment?
I'm too lazy to look, so I'll just say that there was $40 in there before we went to get breakfast.

What is your favorite spice or seasoning?
Garlic (fresh, powder, whatever, just bring it!)

What does your name mean?
Princess.

Do you give your pets holiday presents?
Only when they're good girls.

When doing up your jeans, do you button then zip? Or zip then button?
Button then zip.

How far would you go on the first date?
It depends how well I know the person ahead of the date. In my pre-marriage life I tended to become friends with people before I actually dated them. I don't have a hard and fast rule on this. And if I'm being completely honest, it depends how much electricity I feel the moment I meet the person.

Do you sleep on your side? Stomach? Back?
Usually my side/onto stomach. Before I had a back injury I enjoyed sleeping on my back. Now it hurts like hell so I don't do that.

Have you attended a high school reunion yet?
Yes, this past winter. It was the dullest thing I've pretty much ever been to. Luckily, it was at a bar so I went over to the live performance side and watched the band play.

Are you ticklish? Where?
Sometimes. I'd rather not say where since I am likely to meet a fair number of you this year and I know the first thing you'll do is test my tickle tolerance. ;)

Would you rather change your past or know your future?
I'd rather know my future, my past made me who I am today, & I'm OK with that. (Tug, you are so brilliant!)

Do you believe in saving yourself for marriage?
Haaaaaaaaaaa. Good one!

Would you pick up a hitchhiker?
Perhaps with the hood of my car as I drive my car at him. I actually did pick up a female hitchhiker once because she stood in front of my car crying. I drove her two miles then she jumped out of the car, still sobbing, and I never saw her again.

Would you consider yourself a worrier?
I strive to not worry, but I worry.

Do you notice when your crush/significant other changes something about themselves?
Yes.

Do your first impressions of people usually stick?
Yes, I've got a really good sense like that. (Tug... Tug... This is why I like you.)

What movie(s) can you watch over and over?
These are the ones I can think of just this second: Groundhog Day, Scrooged, LOTR: Fellowship, Star Wars, Clockwatchers, Secretary, Real Genius, You've Got Mail (ugh, I know). Edit: I can't believe I forgot Ferris Bueller's Day Off! I'm sure there are more. Edit edit: Yup. Office Space!

Do you like to cook?
I love to cook.

Do plants die in your care?
I try not to let them, but sometimes their suicidal tendencies win.

What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends?
Go back to Europe, go to Australia, go to countries where I don't speak a word of the language and see what trouble I can find. I'm very interested in testing my survival skills. :)

rough and delicate

DSC02108
                 Snow crocus


Mahogany Beef Stew with Red Wine and Hoisin Sauce

I will be making this for dinner tonight. With mashed potatoes. It is one of my most favorite dishes. I can't wait. :)

Friday, March 30, 2007

Sugary dumb-dandruff

Blades of Glory cereal!



Thanks, MK!

Let's hear it for the boys

Yes, I'm going to do it. I'm going to chronicle many of the boys, guys, and men that I had some sort of date/relationship/crush with or on throughout my life. I won't go into a ton of detail about any one male figure, so the snippets will likely result in you wanting for more. If there is one particular person you'd like more info about please say so in the comments and I will devote an entire post to that person sometime in the future. :)

The names have been changed to protect the innocent. I will not divulge any secret information about any of them. I also won't trash talk them if I can at all help it.

Hef - Second grade. The first boy I ever crushed on. He was also the first boy I ever had a sexual-in-nature dream about. Our downfall: He dropped his bag lunch underneath the lunch table and when I went underneath to get it for him a teacher came over and informed me that I'd be making a trip to the principal's office. I don't take kindly to getting in trouble, so that ended that.

Derrick - Third grade. He was my square-dancing partner for gym class. I liked him because he spoke to me like a real human being, unlike any of the other boys at school. I found out a few years later he was killed when he ran out into the road to save a dog and was struck by a delivery truck that came around a corner and didn't see him in time.

Cain - Eighth grade. Knew him from an online chat room. He must have been 3 years older, because he could drive. He somehow got my postal address even though I lived with my grandmother and asked me in a letter if I would meet him somewhere for a soda (or something). I was at my dad's for the weekend when the letter arrived so I didn't even know he wanted to meet until the date had gone by. I found him in the chat room and we arranged for me to go with him to the movies. My mom drove me. I have no recollection of what we saw, but I clearly remember that when the movie was over he insisted on driving me home, but instead of driving me home he drove me to his house. Thankfully, other people were home so we just hung out then he drove me home. I'm not sure that would have ended so cordially otherwise. Well, I say cordial. I was grounded for 2 weeks. I totally support my mom's punishment decision in this matter. Dumb, dumb, dumb Poppy. (In my defense, I was trying my hardest to stay at the movie theater but the guy was really pushing.)

Atreyu - Eighth grade. I met him in the same online chat room. We went to the movies together, again no recollection of what we saw. He was hot but his mom and my mom knew each other from some singles mingle some-suchedness they used to both go to and they hated each other. Not meant to be.

Kenny - Seventh grade. I met him at (a different) religious music camp. I fell in love with him right away, although that love was not requited for the six summers we saw each other. When we were both 17 we hung out together for a night and almost kissed, but I seriously was waaaay more into him than he was into me. A few months later he married my best friend from 5th grade. (Yes, they were 18. Phew! Dodged that bullet!)

Guy Friend - Eighth grade. Met him in the same online chat room. We hit it off over chat so we actually agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend before ever actually meeting. The first time we did meet we rode bikes together all over my town and a few of the surrounding ones then went back to my grandma's house, to my room, where he kissed me. ... Um, oops. All I could do was picture us together with two kids who vegged out in front of the TV and him drinking Scotch in a 3-piece powder blue business suit. Um, ew. I broke up with him shortly after that but he is still one of my bestest friends to this day. The only problem was that I felt horrible when he reacted so sadly to me breaking up with him so I vowed never to break up with another boy again.

JD - Tenth grade. Met him in the same online chat room. (I KNOW.) I was 15, he was 19. He was my first. We never called each other by name for the entire two years we dated and we didn't actually like each other all that much but we didn't exactly know how to break up so we just didn't bother. Eventually he just started dating someone else and that was the end of that. My favorite part about him was his vampire teeth. :) I have scars on my neck. My poor mom is very glad that didn't last.

Hitler - Twelfth grade. Met him in the same online chat room. (I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW!!) His parents knew my dad, although I didn't know that when I first met him. I assure you at the time I met him I did not know he was a skinhead, but he turned out to be one. We hung out a ton and I realized over time what he was. We had one date at the end of which we kissed and we both got that "ew, did I just kiss my sibling?" feeling. He told me he was grounded for two weeks after, but that was a lie. I actually ran through a blinking red light in front of a cop while I was taking him home because I was so nervous about the whole thing, and we got pulled over. We broke up but he still confided in me about a few issues to do with conflict of not wanting to be a skinhead but actually being one. He moved away with his parents never to be heard of again.

Skippy - Twelfth grade. Went to school with him. He was kinda cute and all, but the actual reason I started dating him was because another guy I definitely didn't want to date had his mouth open to ask me out and just as he was about to speak Skippy asked me out so I said, "YES, PLEASE, YES, THANK YOU." Lasted a few months, but I was actually crushing very hard on the boy to come next so we broke up semi-unamicably as a result. Saw him years later when I started working at my current employer's and we made amends. He's a pretty cool guy, we just have absolutely nothing in common.

Duncan - Summer before college. Oh my. First love of my life. We dated for two weeks then he told me he was in love me. I thought about it for an hour and I told him the same. The only catch? He was younger and his parents hated me. We dated on and off for a few years while I stayed here and he travelled to Belgium for a high school year abroad then to Princeton for college. I was a complete ass and cheated on him with my hot roommate (see below) because hot roommate was physically there and Duncan wasn't. I never said I wasn't an idiot.

Break Boy - Somewhere during a break period with Duncan. I have known Break Boy since I was 6 years old. Guy Friend lived in a room near Break Boy, and I walked in one day to find him there. The most beautiful blue eyes... I hung out with him overnight once but neither of us dared to do anything so I slept on the bed while he slept on the floor. I stole his keys, which turned out to be the "in" my friend Break Boy's Wife used to meet him and fall in love. Eff.

Roy - Junior year of college. The first day I moved into the apartment he gave me a hug and I could feel the electricity run through my entire body. Uh oh. We never dated, just had sex. I very much enjoyed it, much to the dismay of Duncan who confronted me on the issue. Roy eventually lost interest in me (playa) so I went on to a new buddy.

Peter - First senior year of college. (I had two. That's what switching your major your senior year does.) Peter was gay but he enjoyed a good beard, and didn't seem to mind sex with me either. We had an incredibly fabulous time that pretty much ended after he realized I totally dug his boyfriend. What can I say? He pointed me in the direction of the next guy and went on his merry way.

Luke - First senior year of college, summer before second. He had actually been crushing on me since high school but I didn't even notice him. He pursued me really hard at the encouragement of Peter and I stupidly gave in. The funny thing about crushes is that sometimes when you finally get the object of your desire it's nothing like what you'd hoped it would be. He quickly became cold and distant, then broke up with me my first day of second senior year.

Nick - Second senior year of college. I met him at work. I really just wanted to "hang out" with him. We hung out. We couldn't actually motivate to do anything more than hang so we stopped hanging.

Bob - Second senior year of college, summer after college. He was Luke's best friend. Luke didn't appreciate that. Bob approached me and lied about his age (he was 3 years younger). He was not a nice guy but was great in bed. His family was awesome. He cheated on me while I was on a business trip. I stupidly continued to hang out with him after that but finally stopped when I came over to pick him up to go watch TV at my house and his ex-girlfriend was in bed with him.

Hay - Winter after college. We met at work. I'll keep the details to myself because he won't appreciate me sharing pretty much anything beyond that other than we're now married and have three kitties together. ;)


This by no means provides details of all of the crushes I've ever had on friends and colleagues, but it's what I'm willing to put out into the ether. :) I hope you enjoyed. Now stop oggling and get back to work!



Pam has really bad shoes.


If these are also your shoes then I apologize for offending you.


Photo credit: JustJared (warning: if you click that link then spoilage will instantly occur)

Thursday, March 29, 2007

talk nerdy to me

I'm convinced one of these people is my ex-boyfriend. And since there's only one person whose face you can't see I think you can guess which one. Oh, that was such a mercy dating situation...

If I can spare you the trouble, allow me to say that if you don't want to go out with someone then you just shouldn't do it. If you do want to go out with someone then you should go for it. Simple as that. If you are unsure which way you're waffling on the matter then it's safe to say you shouldn't do it or you should ask Poppy for advice.

AI quickie and idiom spotcheck

I am not kidding when I say I was really drunk last night. I watched American Idol's vote-off show but I only remember bits and pieces: Gwen performed a less than enthusiastic Sweet Escape and Chris Sligh got kicked off before his time. He wasn't going to win the whole thing, but he wasn't the worst last night. I enjoyed him while he was around. Such is life.

Did you know that in French the idiom equivalent of "such is life" is "c'est la vie, c'est la guerre"? Idioms are so fascinating to me...

Cautious optimism is not worth my time, but it's happening anyway.

Date: Thu, 29 Mar 2007 10:59:02 -0400
From: CNN Breaking News
Reply-To: newseditor@MAIL.CNN.COM
To: TEXTBREAKINGNEWS@CNNIMAIL12.CNN.COM
Subject: CNN Breaking News

-- The U.S. Senate today passed a war spending bill that would require U.S. combat troops to leave Iraq by the end of March 2008, ignoring a veto threat from President Bush.


dont tout le monde ne m'intéresse plus

I seem to have lost my fanatic interest in celebrity gossip. I still glance at the stories through Google Reader, but I basically have a "laissez-faire" attitude (see definition #2) about the whole thing. Apparently I'm evolving. Into what I do not know. Perhaps, considering the number of my favorite bloggers who have done the same, I shall evolve into a knitter. I won't hold my breath on that but I do very much enjoy all your hard work and gorgeous projects that result. I am perpetually impressed by your patience and creativity. Yes, I'm talking to you. :)

hair of the dog that bit me*

My hair is a total disaster today. Some days when I'm trying to be super quick in the shower I use Pert Plus 2-in-1 shampoo plus conditioner. Except we buy the kind that is formulated for Hay's hair, called "normal". My hair? Not normal. My hair? Frizzy when left to its own devices. I have to use smoothing products or else I look like Little Orphan Annie on crack. (Actually, that's what my next door neighbor looks like. I tend to look more like Pepper, but with lighter hair.) I'm not submitting a photo for you. I'm getting a haircut this weekend, which is code for "my hair looks like shit right now" so I guess it being a frizzbomb isn't much worse than what it normally looks like lately. Also, I haven't had highlights in quite a while now so I have blonde and red streaks that start at my nose but the top of my hair is my natural color. Disastre.

And, completely without segue, an incomplete recap of yesterday:

Yesterday I smooth talked my way into a ride with the chief of police so I could help him with his computer in regards to the project my supervisor asked me to work on with his group. He was visiting my office building for a meeting, so it seemed like a logical request on my part, despite my secret ulterior motives. ;) On our way out the door of my office building he felt obligated to call his wife, which just made me smile. Was he calling his wife to make it known he has one? To make sure he stayed a good boy? Or because she calls every five minutes and he better answer? Any one of the reasons amuses me. I was expecting a ride in a cruiser, but it was just his regular car. :( I'll leave the details inside my mind, but I had a very good hour and a half at the station. (Sorry to leave you hanging, perhaps you'd like to visit the inside of my brain for a minute? ... ... ... Yah, wasn't that fun? :)

The chief did ask me if I wanted him to arrange for an officer to drive me back to my office, but I refused and walked back. When I returned to my office I smooth talked one of the systems administrators into giving me a ride to a farewell party for one of the other SAs who is moving away to work for a very prominent technology company. The SA who gave me a ride actually lives down the road from me, so it's not like it was really out of his way to do so, but it still felt devious. :) At said gathering we all drank beer, ate pizza, and talked loudly (because we all got a bit trashed after being served lots of tasty beer but no food for the first hour there). I am very glad that the SA drove home, because I couldn't really see straight after consuming my two whole beers. (I have already been told I am a lightweight by Hay. Thank you for thinking that so loudly that I can hear you through the screen, though.) When I got home I was somehow able to get my stuff out of his car, walk up the porch steps to a door that Hay had opened for me, then stumble over to the fridge to get myself lots of ice water for the purposes of sobering up. Don't get me wrong, I quite enjoy the buzz, but it's only fun when there are other people around me who are in the same state of mind. Otherwise it's just sad. :) I think it took me probably 2 or 3 hours to finally sober up. I'm getting old. I even had to take something for a headache. I never used to get headaches. So sad, so very very sad. What will I do when I see ACW and Mel in July?! I'm going to be sitting under the table puking my guts out and holding the contents of my brain in!


*I had a Starbucks mocha frappuccino coffee drink this morning, not another beer. I just like the title.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

keyword search: you disappoint me poppy

Who keeps doing this search?? What is so disappointing? Inquiring minds need to know.

"This one time, at band camp..."

When I was 15 years old I was dating a 19-year-old. I know, I know, great judgment on my part. My mom flat out told me she didn't approve of the relationship but that she wouldn't forbid it because she knew that would just encourage me to be a very naughty girl and sneak out of the house all the time. Because she did not forbid my "love" I always came home at curfew and only spent two sick days at his house instead of at home in my own bed. Trust me when I say that plenty of corrupting can occur between 3:30pm and 10:00pm when you're dating the guy everyone hangs around in his mother's basement watching movies, eating candy, and rollerblading through the laundry room. (Much more devious things occurred, but you'll have to use your vivid imagination.)

When I was 16 I was still dating the then-now-20-year-old and my mom was pretty fed up with it so she told me I would be spending an entire week (OMG!!!!!) at religious music camp. I'm not religious. Sorry if that disappoints anyone, but I don't take kindly to "the word" being crammed down my throat. I appreciate the stories for their creativity and message about the state of social inequities, but other than that it really has no bearing on my life. I know my mom was hoping that I would go to camp, learn some songs, be "saved" in some manner, then never speak to the boyfriend again. Not what happened.

When I arrived to religious music camp I was dumped off by my mom who drove away sobbing because she knew I didn't want to be at camp but she was at her whit's end with this whole older boyfriend business. A camp counselor greeted me then placed me in a room with three girls who already knew each other. These girls? They were catty. They were mean. They whispered about me while I was standing right there. I took the only free bed, plopped down my stuff, then just stared at them because I had no idea what else I was supposed to do for an entire week without my boyfriend or without my C64 with 1200bps modem!!!!!!!!!!!. The girls did not include me in their discussion about all the "hot" boys who were there (um, it's religious music camp, what did you expect?).

Through listening to them interact I figured out that their names were Nancy, Julie, and Snotface. The girls eventually decided it was time to leave so I followed them out of the room and onto the camp grounds, keeping a 10-foot distance from them so as not to provoke them into a physical fight but so that I could passively figure out the lay of the land. I realized quickly that most of my time would be spent in three areas: the cafeteria, the rehearsal space, and the actual church at which we would perform for our families on the last day of camp. At said cafeteria Julie broke away from Nancy and Snotface and became an entirely different person. She wanted to be my bestest friend ever, because Nancy and Snotty were actually mean to her as well but she just played along because she’s a follower. “Great,” I thought to myself. “Not only do I get to hang out at some place that totally goes against my belief system, but I get to hang out with the follower sheep!” What else was I gonna do for a week? We bonded.

That night I actually felt so miserable about my situation and missed my boyfriend so much that I just kept crying as quietly as possible until I fell asleep. If you’ve seen my 50 things video you can see that I am a fair-skinned girl. When I cry my face gets red and splotchy like someone quickly sautéed it. It’s disgusting. Imagine my face being all nasty and hot and dripping with nose goo while I tried to block out the noises of snoring girls and grasshoppers as well as the thoughts of my mother's betrayal. I didn't get a lot of sleep that night.

Anyway, back to the story in a very condensed version: I cried a lot that first night but then I just gave in to my circumstances. I practiced singing as instructed, hung out with whoever Julie told me to hang out with but in a very wallflowery manner (I didn’t talk, I just observed), and waited patiently for performance day to arrived. I had made arrangements with my boyfriend for him to come to the performance on the last day so I was pretty psyched that I would get to see him even though Mom didn’t want me to.

When the last day arrived I went into the church dressed in some flowery skirt, a white blouse, and a chenille sweater. (Basically, I was dressed like a dork.) I took my place on the risers and looked out into the crowd of grinning moms and dads, grandparents and siblings, and noticed a distinct lack of boyfriend. I was instantly furious, silently blaming my mother for what I was sure she had done: Called him and told him not to come to my performance. I considered running out of the church before the singing began just to defy my mother but the piano started playing and I was too scared to activate my plan in the middle of the song. I stayed, I sang, I walked out of the church to my room, I got dressed in normal clothes, quickly exchanged postal addresses with Julie and Nancy (but not Snotty, or else I’d remember her name), and dragged my suitcase to the car.

If you know me well enough, you’ll know that I get really quiet when I’m pissed off. You can talk to me all you want and I’ll just look at you (or not!) and say nothing at all, but my face speaks volumes. My mom got a faceful of volumes on that ride home. I had 5 silent fights with her on the three-hour journey. I went directly to my room when we arrived back to the house and I didn’t come out for any reason, not even when Mom knocked on the door to congratulate me on my great job at the church.

After returning from camp Julie and I exchanged a few letters. She lived a few states over at the time and I randomly confessed that I’d never eaten a shoestring potato so in the next letter she sent there was a piece of aluminum foil wrapped around three moldy previously-frozen fries. It was disgusting, but it made me laugh hysterically.

Last week I was half-heartedly watching the local news when I saw a story about Julie. She had gone missing the night before and police were very concerned about her whereabouts. I can only imagine that means that she: a) is special in every sense of the word; b) takes medication but didn’t have it with her; c) was suicidal before disappearing. I was kinda shocked by the story, but really the only shock for me was that she now lived in my state. The following day the news ran an update story that Julie had been found alive and well.

The boyfriend? I know now that he had no intention of ever coming to the performance in the first place. He was only dating me because he didn’t know how to break up with me (how we started dating to begin with is another long tale). At the end of our relationship he just started dating someone older than he is and they eventually got married, lived miserably, and got divorced. I haven’t seen him in probably 10 years and I like it that way.

And that’s why I don’t like mushrooms. (Are you still reading? Wow! Hi!)




Tuesday, March 27, 2007

YARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

The best and only reason to watch American Idol tonight: Gwen Stefani will be there!!!!! How could she not be performing? I will hold out hope that she slips in a song.

This morning's getting ready song was The Sweet Escape. I must be psychic.

An entire nation of mouse-eared alkies grows up to steal panties.

I don't have a clever story this morning.

I have a stupid story this morning: Disney champagne. Let us encourage the youth of America to begin drinking as soon as they can hold their own sippy cups! Gooooood idea!

(Does that girl with the braids not look like she's staring at the other girl's undeveloped chest? Next CNN headline: Disney champagne leads to acquaintance assault)

Oh, and one more smaht story: Man steals 1500 pairs of women's underwear. Could you come over and steal mine? I need to clean out my collection before the new ones arrive, but I'm kinda lazy...

Monday, March 26, 2007

Note to self:

If you don't eat a proper dinner ahead of kicking ass class you're going to be so starving when you get home that you're going to binge on rice that Hay made you when you called him from the class parking lot asking him to make you lots of it. Blurg...

Maraka

I was waffling about posting this. It has its funny points, especially when Maraka says "do it, asshole" and the penguin gets runned over (almost):



All my friends' kids love Dora, so this makes me feel a little guilty enjoying it. :)

NotEllen's soundtrack of my life

Every morning when I wake up I walk from the guest bedroom through the hallway to the master bedroom then into the master bathroom to prepare for my day. When I arrive to the bathroom one of the first things my mind does is decide if I want to turn on the light or not (usually not). Then it does something that drives me insane at times but I seem to have absolutely no control over it: It picks a song to rock out to while I proceed with my morning activities.

This morning's song was from a local artist, the brother of one of my best guy friend's wife, an artist I've known since I was probably 11 which was before it was even a thought in his mind that he would be a musician. I hardly ever think of him, but this morning he's the one I thought of. Or, rather, his song is.

While in the shower I was trying to get the notes right for one of the verses and then all of a sudden a story from my past consumed my brain. Picture three years ago when you didn't even know me. I had been asked by the local artist's sister to go to his show at a martini bar in town. I convinced Hay to go with me and we went to meet up with Guy Friend and a bunch of locals who all knew us and the artist.

I promise you this story gets interesting.

When Hay and I arrived we found Guy Friend and went to the bartender to order drinks. At the suggestion of GF I ordered a chocotini while he ordered an appletini. Hay ordered juice because he is über responsible and doesn't actually drink. After we had drinks in hand we sat down at a table and watched Artist set up his stage and talked with a bunch of the others in the room we knew, including a former bandmate who came to support Artist by bringing his girlfriend and their tiny shaking chihuahua who they sprayed with perfume so that the dog didn't smell like a dog. (I know.)

It was this night that I realized I don't like chocotinis so I had about three sips of my drink, but no more alcohol than that. Remember this for later. Sober Poppy. Semi-important detail.

The story is about to get interesting. And it's even a true story. No lies.

Just as Artist was ready to perform the door to the club swung open and in walks this guy. This annoying gnat. This bane of my existence. I had never actually met him before, but the first thing he did when he walked in the door was ask everyone for (free, no less) drugs and then "WOO!" really REALLY loudly. Artist was instantly thrown off his game by this guy who "WOO!"ed through every song, and clapped really loudly and said "YAAAAAAH!" after each one.

Everyone was murmuring about this kid under their breath, but I? I was getting pretty fucking PISSED OFF. Four songs later and Artist finishes while the kid is still "WOOOOOO!"ing and "YAAAAAAAH!"ing. I could not take it anymore, so when silence hit the room I looked this kid directly in the eye and said "DUDE! SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Artist looks at me nervously, but I'm too busy staring down the kid. Kid approaches me with "I'm gonna fuck you up, lady" eyes while I stare right back with "Try it, motherfucker, I'll take you down so hard you won't wake up from it." No one said anything. Hay and Guy Friend just sat there in disbelief, not really understanding what their role in this situation was supposed to be, so they froze and held their breath and hoped they were invisible. The kid registered my icy stare somewhere in his methed out brain, "WOO"ed one more time, then left the building.

A bunch of the crowd came up to thank me for doing that, but not The Artist. He just went on with the show, and we had a great time. During the very last song the kid walked back in and I was ready to kick some ass, but that's not what the kid was there for. He went to the front of the stage, sat on the floor, put his hands in his lap, and just listened. No WOO!, no YAH!, nothing. When Artist was finished the kid walked back out the door and I never saw him again.

The story has concluded its interestingness.

And that's my morning so far today, how my entire day can be influenced by the stream of consciousness of my mind. I am ready to kick some ass today. Good thing it's finally time for self defense class. :)



Sunday, March 25, 2007

CUTE OVERLOAD!!!!! ; A little Sunday Garden Party, anyone?

OMGLOLROFLWTFBRBTYVM.

Anyway, just LOOK:



From I is gots your tail (ICHC?). I can't stand it. I can't! I CAN'T!

Also, things are growing at my house! Woohoo! And the sun is out! Double-woohoo! Sooooo, I made a bit of an early Sunday Garden Party set. My favorite part of the set is my own feet, despite my dislike for feet. Here are the feet photos:

DSC02081.JPG
 

Some of you may recall the pine tree that was struck by lightning, which is also represented in the set. It seems to be doing well! All photos were taken today. And, to answer your non-verbalized question: Yes, there is mud and snow and green grass and sunshine all on the same day. I live in a magical land.

cede chatter

I don't share enough of my random conversations with you, so I'll offer this morning's breakfast chatter.

DSC02041 Hay: What do you want to do for breakfast.*
Poppy: I don't know.
Hay: I wasn't sure if you wanted pancakes since you bought syrup. I'll make pancakes.
Poppy: Do you want me to make pancakes?
Hay: No, you bought the syrup, I'll make the pancakes. ... Assuming I can find a bowl.
Poppy: (staring at Hay) Are you going to get a bowl?
Hay: There aren't any big enough.
Poppy: There are bowls right over there! How many pancakes do you think I can eat? I can't eat 10 pancakes!
Hay: Well, today you're eating 10 pancakes.
Poppy: I'm not eating 10 fucking pancakes!!! I'll eat 2 or 3!
Hay: (laughs hysterically at me) Okay, I'll make the pancakes. Where's the vegetable oil?
Poppy: We don't have any right now.
Hay: Oh. Hmm, we have olive oil.
Poppy: I used it on the pork chops last night and they were really good!
...
Hay: I have the burner turned down low, I don't know why they're burning.
Poppy: That's the really hot burner. Use any other burner. ... HAY! YOU'RE USING THE WRONG BURNER.
Hay: It's fine!!!! ... This burner's too hot. I'm switching burners.


*Hay is an expert at asking questions in a matter-of-factly tone so that you know it's a question but it doesn't sound like a question. Multi-talented, I tell ya!

sleep depraved

It's 7:15am on a Sunday. A SUNDAY. And I've been up for 25 minutes already. For no reason. Except that I'm old and now I can't sleep past 6:52am. Hmph. Means I'm gonna have to take a nap in the middle of the day just so I can stay up past 7:00pm. Means I'm gonna be really tired for kicking people's asses class self defense class tomorrow because I was up past midnight last night watching my online TV shows and it takes me more than one day to recover from lack of sleep. Means I get quiet time all to myself to do whatever I want but I'm not awake enough to do anything so I'm just gonna sit here and drink water and the rest of my iced mocha from yesterday and ... read PostSecret? Or perhaps I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? archives.

This post is dumb. I'm going to stop writing until I wake up. Sweet dreams, internets, I'm sure you're still having them.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

giddy as a school girl

I do believe Katie is flirting with Mr. Colbert...



...until he throws his leg on the table and tells her to do the same. Then it just gets weird.

pork chops and mashed potatoes

There are few better dinners.

DSC02022

Thin cut chops coated in a hot and spicy batter mixed with a semi-sweet batter then pan fried in olive oil. Yukon gold potatoes (skins left on) boiled then mashed with whole milk, real butter, garlic (powder), salt, and pepper.

tricky quickies

Watching BSG: The Miniseries right now. Pretend you didn't see me, because my mind is honestly captivated by what I'm watching, I just have (undiagnosed) ADHD and OCD and an addiction to blogging so I'm posting at the same time. I had no idea how much sex science fiction characters have! I could use some ice to cool off... To everyone who said I would love it: You rock. (I'm calmy saying that, but on the inside I'm the very opposite of calm.)

I still need to read World War Z (ACW, please don't uninvite me over!*) but I am instead choosing to read Crimson Joy because I read the first paragraph and was hooked (Avi gets the credit for this).

I tried the Starbucks doubleshot espresso & cream. I think my brain and heart simultaneously exploded with the first mouthful. Hay is picking me up a decaf iced mocha on his way back from Home Depot when I go take Ripley to the groomer's a little later today. I can handle those, I'm not sure I can keep handling the doubleshots without keeling over.

Hay and I have been invited to two weddings! One is in June, locally, and involves the person that B and I refer to as “the bird lady”. I'll be going out of politesse. Hay may or may not go, and I don't much care which way he sides. The other wedding we were invited to is in July and is for my cousin who is in the process of getting her PhD so that she can be a prominent women's health expert. For reasons I cannot go into, I am confident that she will do very well in this job, and am happy she will further her career despite the fact that she is marrying an older man (whom she loves very much) with gobs of money. This wedding will be in Maryland, so guess what my big plans are? *TO VISIT ACW. YAR. I'M GONNA MEET THE LEGEND, HIS LOVELY WIFE, AND HIS AWESOME KITTIES. WHO'S EXCITED? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!! Yes, he knows this already. Yes, he is willingly meeting me. Yes, I will be taking photos of his feet and cats.


Okay, shh, time for BSG exclusively.

gruntled

Okay. Okay okay okay okay. Okay. Just, go with it and pace yourself, and WAIT till the end, and BAM:



I CANNOT WAIT FOR APRIL 5!!!!!!!!! Starts at 8:00pm, so make sure your TVs are set to record it at the right time, kay? Kay. YAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 23, 2007

effing A

Who stole all my pens?!

drinks are on me!

Coca-Cola is in town giving away 20 oz bottles of their Vault drink. I just “scored” their newest flavor, Red Blitz (Berry Injected). I air quoted because I haven't actually tasted the product yet. I'm too busy with my Altoids.

Anyone in need of a free drink can see me in my office (if you can find it). :)

I can now play poker with Jenna Fischer because I have figured out her “tell”.

View a video of Jenna discussing Blades of Glory and The Office here. Although I am not interested in seeing her wax her boobs I am interested in JAM JAM JAM JAM JAM JAM JAM. :)

new favorite*

DSC01981

DSC01982       DSC01983

If you like dark chocolate and you like peppermint then you've found your new addiction.


And, just to ruin your buzz, the nutrition information, courtesy of Wikipedia:

Dark Chocolate Dipped Mints
    · Serving Size: 2 pieces
    · Calories: 15
    · Fat: 0.5g
    · Sodium: 0mg
    · Carbohydrate: 2g
    · Sugars: 2g
    · Protein: 0g



*Lyrics to this awesome song are found here. If you haven't ever listened to Alison Krauss you are seriously missing out.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

in which no progress is made, but everybody pretends it will be

I told you I was going to be hyper, too many posts.

I'm just curious how many meetings you average a week at your job? Depending on the season I have zero, 2, 4, or 6 meetings a week. Right now I'm averaging 4, although this week I have 5 and the week of Feb 19 I had 7 (even with a day off). I love meetings because I actually follow through with my action items and make progress based on feedback from said meetings. I also really love my co-workers (they are like family to me, and some of them are my best friends in my physical life) so any chance to sit in the same room with them works for me.

What the hell is up with me and posting (oxymoronic “vague details”) about work lately?!

What makes me think this is a good plan?

I'm about to go get a second iced tea. I don't need a second iced tea for the following reasons:
    · It runs right through me, and I'll be running to the bathroom to pee every five seconds all afternoon
    · It makes me maniacally hyper
    · I'm probably having iced tea when I go out to dinner directly after work
    · I have a ginormous glass of ice water brought in from home and an odwalla pure orange juice sitting on my desk that should be finished ahead of another iced tea
    · edit: Caffeine, particularly in iced tea, makes my back and leg flare up (oops, forgot about that little tidbit...)

I have really bad judgment when it comes to iced tea. I'm going for it. :)

cockapoo!

This pretty girl was in my office yesterday:

puppy3

puppy puppy2

She's 5 months old and she gives kisses. :)

accidental voyeur

This morning I am looking through a binder of material on being prepared for incidents of various types. I found a multi-page document stapled together that was turned to page 9. I started reading that page and assumed the document was just a dummy exercise between law enforcement members responding to an explosion. I got two pages in and then started to wonder why this sounded so real, because usually simulations don't have that personal feel to them, and definitely not the level of detail I was being given. I flipped to page 1 and realized I was reading the dispatch transcript for the April 20, 1999 Columbine High School incident (the paper version I have is much more verbose).

I'm not sure I can continue reading this knowing what it is... Dilemma.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

What's in your pockets?

After confessing that I keep “a paging device” in my pocket it occurred to me that I would really like to tell you what else I keep in my pockets.

I generally wear pants with pockets, and I actually feel off if I don't have pockets. What I keep in my pockets changes by season. There are only two seasons where I live: winter and summer. In the winter when I wear a coat I use my coat pockets to carry many items then keep the rest in my pants. In the summer I scale waaaay down. I almost always have my laptop case with me during the week so I also use it as pocket space for things I bring to work.


Winter
  • Pants: my core set of keys, chapstick, pager sans holster, then a variety of other objects depending on the day which include but are not limited to:
    • receipts, cash, change, debit card, pen, pencil, batteries, Post-It notes, gum or other breath freshening consumables, candy that I have no intention of consuming but took out of politesse, USB keys/flash drives/thumb drives, ID card

  • Coat: wallet, cell phone, keychain with all the keys I don't need as often as the ones in my pants, prescription sunglasses, then a variety of other objects depending on the day which include but are not limited to:
    • business papers, shopping lists, CDs, gloves, candy or granola bars that I have every intention of consuming

  • Laptop case: laptop power, cell phone power, pens, two ore more kinds of gum, headphones and other connector cables, digital camera, comb, two or more kinds of medicated back relief cream, blank CDs, deodorant, feminine hygiene products for those surprise visits, pain reliever


Summer
  • Pants pockets: my core set of keys, chapstick, pager sans holster, and one of those bankcard envelopes for your bank card which I jam pack with my debit card, ID, car insurance card, personal insurance card, and any active doctor, dentist, orthodontist, or optometrist appointment cards

  • Laptop case: the cell phone, sunglasses, wallet, non-essential keychain, and USB keys hang here because there's room, as well as all the essentials I carry around from winter


I have a purse. I don't like purses. I'm just not that type of person. But, if I'm going somewhere that makes a purse the best option I transfer all my crap from my laptop case to the purse and then I strategize my plan for kicking the ass of whoever tries to take it from me.


How about you? What do you keep in your pockets?


Edit: Stef made me realize I should have photos, so here they are. Everything on the desk is what I keep in my pants pockets. Everything else is illustrated in place.

F4*

Why do people schedule meetings for me at times when they know I'm not at work yet? Granted, I'm the unusual one who starts half an hour later than most of the planet, but that's because I take a shorter lunch than they do, I usually stay an hour longer than they do, and I've been on call 24/7/365 for the past five years!!!!!~~@!!!11! (Yes, that is a paging device in my pocket, I'm not just happy to see you.)

Was that a vent about work? I think it was more a vent about social justice and common courtesy. :)


*F is for fuck. 4 is my favorite number. Together they make my favorite function key.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

AI top 11

SANJAYA IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did anybody catch the crying girl?!!?!?!? I am laughing so hard I'm crying with her!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hay thanks you for your support in getting Sanjaya on the AI tour. :)

Edit: Thank you, America, for keeping Sanjaya around! And, here's the video of that little girl crying:




I did not get tagged by Avi

...because at some point he learned his lesson on that. A link to Avi's post is here.

I love music memes, so I don't care if I'm tagged or not, I'm doing it! The “rules”:

List seven songs you are into right now...no matter what they are. BUT. They must be songs you are presently enjoying. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

I am completely incapable of doing only seven, so I'm giving you one for every year of life I have behind me (32) in artist alphabetical order:

  1. Wreck of the Day ~ Anna Nalick
  2. Audio Delite At Low Fidelity ~ The Black Eyed Peas
  3. Colorblind ~ Counting Crows
  4. All These Lives ~ Daughtry
  5. A Lack of Color ~ Death Cab for Cutie
  6. Crooked Teeth ~ Death Cab for Cutie
  7. O Valencia! ~ The Decemberists
  8. This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race ~ Fall Out Boy
  9. Rhiannon ~ Fleetwood Mac
  10. Take Me Out ~ Franz Ferdinand
  11. Feel Good Inc. ~ Gorillaz
  12. Wind It Up ~ Gwen Stefani
  13. Banana Pancakes ~ Jack Johnson
  14. My Love ~ Justin Timberlake
  15. Somewhere Only We Know ~ Keane
  16. All These Things That I Have Done ~ The Killers
  17. Heal Over ~ KT Tunstall
  18. Smile ~ Lily Allen
  19. Attractive Today ~ Motion City Soundtrack
  20. Move with Me ~ Neneh Cherry (Until the End of the World soundtrack)
  21. Far Away ~ Nickelback (ACW, shaddup)
  22. Here It Goes Again ~ OK Go
  23. I Write Sins Not Tragedies ~ Panic! At the Disco
  24. The District Sleeps Alone Tonight ~ The Postal Service
  25. Such Great Heights ~ The Postal Service
  26. On & On ~ The Rapture
  27. Giants ~ The Samples
  28. I Don't Feel Like Dancin' ~ Scissor Sisters
  29. New Slang ~ The Shins
  30. Natale's Song ~ Sia
  31. Chasing Cars ~ Snow Patrol
  32. Until the End of the World ~ U2
I should make this into a playlist. Why did I not think of that? (Because I don't want to OD on my favorite songs, that's why.)

No tagging, but you do it if you wanna, how you wanna.

I've had such a hard good day

Someone fixed my iTunes shuffle, because yesterday all I heard were sad, sad, sad songs and today all I am hearing are effing kickass songs. :) Thank you, whoever you are.

I have a super busy-in-a-fun-way workday. I love those. If I keep having those I might actually have to confess that I enjoy my job. (I secretly do, but please don't tell anyone.)

Oh. This is a piece of news for the ladies, or for the men who like to buy things for their ladies or for themselves (whatever floats your boat, guys ;). Currently there is a FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER $95 offer at Frederick's of Hollywood. When you order the items, please note that you have to place the promo code on the cart page, underneath all the cart items. DON'T click to proceed before entering the code, because they don't give you another chance further down the ordering road to enter this code. Conspiracy theory dictates that they don't actually want to give you free shipping so they make it hard to find the the field so that you won't use it. Don't say I never gave you anything, because I just gave you free shipping. Well, Fred really did, but... I assisted. :D If you get the catalog then you have a code. If you don't get the catalog then you can use the code: 7WSFR95. Enjoy!

Hay just sent me an article about a glass-bottom skywalk over the Grand Canyon being unveiled today. Road trip, anyone? I went in '98 with a girlfriend who lives in New Mexico and had the very odd experience of thinking the Canyon just looked like a painting even though I was standing over the edge looking down/across. I'd like to go again when I don't have a 3rd degree sunburn that causes me to hallucinate.

Last, but certainly not least, B has posted photos of her beautiful kitty Joey over at CheezyCatz. Please go see and leave lots of comment love. He is gooooooorgeous!!!!

Back to the grind. Enjoy your day. :)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Sunpilots left a comment on one of my MySpace photos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd like to think it was Raj. :D

Monday, March 19, 2007

I. DON'T. LIKE. PEAS.

DSC01875

I am not a fan of peas. They taste nasty, they squish like eyeballs in my mouth, and they are not one bit appealing to my eye.

When I was 9 I was at my dad's house for the weekend and my stepmom made peas for dinner. Everyone knows I hate peas. My dad got it into his head that he would force me to eat peas at dinner or I couldn't have dessert, and I couldn't leave the table unless I ate one spoonful of peas.

Let me just say that I don't take kindly to being told to eat things I don't wanna. I sat at that table until everyone else was done, and continued to sit there after everyone went to the living room to watch TV. I sat and sat and sat and sat and sat, not eating peas. Picture, if you will, the bloody steak scene from Mommie Dearest. I never did eat those peas, not even one spoonful. My dad finally took pity on me and let me leave the table.

To this day my dad enjoys recounting this story at the dinner table, especially when my stepmom serves peas.

And that's a roundabout way of saying I had chicken pot pie on a bed of jasmati for dinner, hold the peas.

Message received, you can stop sending it!

Seven bloggers I know (and that's perhaps a low estimate) are currently watching Battlestar Galactica. I get it. I need to start watching it. The world can stop thrusting it at me. I just need to watch one series at a time unless I totally dominate the Netflix queue, which Hay doesn't particularly enjoy me doing.

:)

I am normally a phonephobe, but I totally just called Dwight: 1-800-984-3672. I pressed all the numbers he told me to, and I think I now own his car? Or maybe I flashed him, I'm not exactly sure...

toilet-ries: things that do or do not bug me about bathroom usage

I've mentioned this before in passing, but I really have absolutely no care what position the toilet seat is left in. If Hay were to leave both the inner and outer toilet seat up why would that bother me any more than it would bother him that I leave the inner seat down? We both would have to do work to modify the seat for our needs, and that just seems fair to me.

Because we have kitties who find the toilet water pretty fascinating we actually keep both seats down at all times, and what does bug me is when guests come to my house and leave the seats up so that the cats can get into the bowls. My brother has a creative solution for this. He is a bit of an artist and drew a toilet with the seat UP but with words that tell everyone to leave the seat DOWN. This artwork sits on top of the toilet tank. You can't miss it. My stepmom intentionally defies him, but everyone else follows his instructions.

I also don't care to arrive to a toilet and find other people's business hanging out in there. I know the whole “if it's yellow let it mellow” business, but I know that water splashes, and it grosses me out enough to know that toilet bowl water will potentially splash up at me, let alone water with active waste in it. Ugh. Okay, I just threw up a little.

Last, but certainly not least, I must mention that it pisses me off to a 9 out of 10 if I arrive to the bathroom to find no toilet paper. Even if I notice before I sit down I am annoyed for a good half hour or longer after. If you finished a roll then try being kind to the next person. By the time I get to the bathroom my bladder has received the message that it's okay to let go, so I don't have time to go find my own roll.



Sunday, March 18, 2007

news flash

Stephen Colbert has just informed me that there is no genetic difference between the English and the Irish (and the Scots, but he didn't mention them). My plan to assimilate the entire world is working!

Edit: Does anyone wonder why I girl crush on Mel? It's because she's so freakin' AWESOME. Here's the accompanying video for the news above.



The Sunpilots


Usually when I receive Myspace or YouTube requests in my Yahoo email for musical groups to add me as a friend or contact I swear at them and delete the email without reviewing their profile or their request on My or You. Today I received an email from a group and did the swearing, but I checked out the request. I am so glad I did. If you haven't heard of The Sunpilots perhaps you would really like to familiarize yourself with them before they get huge in the States. Especially Raj (pictured in red). Who is beautiful. And will be my crush tomorrow, for shore. I have purchased their album from Amazon. I was not able to wait for the album to arrive so I have changed my MySpace song to Spotlight in the Sun. Yummmm.






Here's the video for Spotlight which I'm not crazy about, but I love the song:

light reading

A book I found on the floor next to Hay's couch:

DSC01806

He has very interesting recreational reading taste. Or, perhaps it's Georgie's book since there's one of her kitty hairs on it.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Pet food recalled after deaths

The following pet foods are being recalled after several pet deaths were linked to consumption of products found in these brands:

Recalled cat foods

America's Choice, Preferred Pets; Authority; Best Choice; Companion; Compliments; Demoulas Market Basket; Fine Feline Cat, Shep Dog; Food Lion; Foodtown; Giant Companion; Good n Meaty; Hannaford; Hill Country Fare; Hy-Vee; Key Food; Laura Lynn; Li'l Red; Loving Meals; Main Choice; Nutriplan; Nutro Max Gourmet Classics; Nutro Natural Choice; Paws; Presidents Choice; Price Chopper; Priority; Save-A-Lot; Schnucks; Sophistacat; Special Kitty; Springfield Pride; Sprout; Total Pet; My True Friend; Wegmans; Western Family; White Rose; and Winn Dixie.


Recalled dog foods

America's Choice; Preferred Pets; Authority; Award; Best Choice; Big Bet; Big Red; Bloom; Bruiser; Cadillac; Companion; Demoulas Market Basket; Fine Feline Cat; Shep Dog; Food Lion; Giant Companion; Great Choice; Hannaford; Hill Country Fare; Hy-Vee; Key Food; Laura Lynn; Loving Meals; Main Choice; Mixables; Nutriplan; Nutro Max; Nutro Natural Choice; Nutro; Ol'Roy; Paws; Pet Essentials; Pet Pride; President's Choice; Price Chopper; Priority; Publix; Roche Bros; Save-A-Lot; Schnucks; Springsfield Pride; Sprout; Stater Bros; Total Pet; My True Friend; Western Family; White Rose; Winn Dixie and Your Pet.

Snippet of the article: “WASHINGTON (AP) -- A major manufacturer of dog and cat food sold under Wal-Mart, Safeway, Kroger and other store brands recalled 60 million containers of wet pet food Friday after reports of kidney failure and deaths.

An unknown number of cats and dogs suffered kidney failure and about 10 died after eating the affected pet food, Menu Foods said in announcing the North American recall. Product testing has not revealed a link explaining the reported cases of illness and death, the company said.”


For more information: www.menufoods.com ; 1-866-895-2708

Article source: CNN

Yummy2

When I was a kid I dreamed of growing up and having lots of exotic cats, a dark house à la Elvis's bedroom, and a never-ending supply of Doritos. Seriously.



I really enjoy this commercial's cleverness of integrating the words that describe the product into also describing the situation. And the physical comedy is hilarious, too. :)

Totally unrelated, Happy St. Patrick's Day! I hope you get a pot of gold and no hangover. And maybe a visit from Colin. :D



Jeopardy Brat Pack

Three contestants tied for first place in the third round of the long-running game show:

NEW YORK - All those years of answers and questions, and it's never happened before on "Jeopardy!" What is a three-way tie, Alex?

The three contestants on the venerable game show all finished with $16,000 after each answering the final question correctly in the category, "Women of the 1930s," on Friday's show. They identified Bonnie Parker, of the famed Bonnie and Clyde crime duo, as a woman who, as a waitress, once served one of the men who shot her.

"We've had a lot of crazy things happen on `Jeopardy!' but in 23 years I've never seen anything like this before," host Alex Trebek said.

The show contacted a mathematician who calculated the odds of such a three-way tie happening — one in 25 million.

The three contestants, Jamey Kirby of Gainesville, Fla.; Anders Martinson of Union City, Calif.; and Scott Weiss of Walkersville, Md; were all declared champions and taped a rematch that will air Monday. (AP)

Might I suggest a harder final jeopardy question? :) I used to love Jeopardy as a teenager living with my mom at my grandmother's house. Grandma and I would sit in the living room with dinner plates in our laps and watch Alex be condescending to the contestants who didn't always know the answers but he did. (Alex? They're right in front of you.) Good show. Glad this happened, because Alex definitely didn't see that coming. ;)

Friday, March 16, 2007

I like this pie.*



I must be “maturing”. In my youth I didn't want one thing to do with limes of any sort. Now one of my favorite desserts is key lime pie and I just drooled on the keyboard a little bit.



*Not just any old pie.

What?!?!?!? WHY??????

I just heard from GMMR that Veronica Mars is probably being cancelled. :( :( :(

I just started getting into this show thanks to Avi.

Damn you, TV executives! You cancelled Firefly, you cancelled Dead Like Me, you cancelled HUFF!, and now you cancel Veronica Mars?!?!? FOR SHAME. You all can just go jump off a cliff. (Wow, that was weak...)

Edit: Fresher news from E! explains that it might not be cancelled, but it might change to be four years in the future with Veronica being an FBI agent. I'd rather see that than no show at all, and I *love* FBI shows, so bring it!

I am (not) I am (not) I am (not) Superman and I can do anything

In case anyone needs a reminder of the lyrics they are here. Love that song...

Warning: This post contains TMI.

This morning I found one of my favorite pairs of underwear in the gigantic stack of unfolded laundry that lives on our master bedroom bed*, the cotton blue Hanes low rise something-or-other cut bikini brief, and picked them up to put them on. I saw a dangling thread so I pulled on it. Three revolutions around the entire band later and I thought, “oh no, I am going to have to retire my Superman undies!” Silly me for thinking that my Superman undies were so easily destructible. They are still holding together just fine, thank you very much. I'm not sure why I think they're Superman undies, since his outer underwear (hehe) is red, but I do.

I am going to be taking a self defense class starting the week after next. I've always wanted to take one but I'm an introvert so I have trouble committing in even the most basic way to people I don't know. Example: I prefer to only go to convenience stores, grocery stores, restaurants, etc. where I am considered a regular. How I ever started being a regular is somehow magical to me, and must have been done in a moment of extroversion. Back to the story: When I met the officers at the station the other day I was introduced to the female officer who teaches self defense for women in our community, so now she is someone I have bonded to and will gladly follow to the ends of the earth like a lemming. (I love that game...) She is the nicest person, but I can tell she can kick some serious ass. I shall be drawing from childhood experiences in order to amp up my aggression level, assuming aggression is appreciated while I'm beating the crap out of an imaginary attacker. Even if it's not, it will be therapeutic. :)

We started watching Casino Royale (2006) last night. I say started because we had to stop the movie one trillion times for a variety of reasons (phone call breaks, bathroom breaks, Pinwheels breaks, house check breaks, cat breaks). I eventually got super ticked off after suggesting multiple times that we just wait until tonight to see it and I grabbed all the remotes and shut everything off. Hay was not in the room when I did this, because he was off doing one of those break things, so no one actually witnessed my mini meltdown of muttering insanity. I just hate having really good movies ruined by interruptions, and seriously the movie was interrupted at least 6 times in the first 54 minutes of it. So, we'll probably rewatch the entire thing tonight. Very much looking forward to that. Daniel Craig is a beautiful aggressive Bond. I didn't think I would like him in this role, but I opposite-of-dislike him in it. I wish he had taken it down about two notches with his muscular body. He's just a bit too buff for my taste. I don't have a favorite body type, but I know that I don't like bulging muscles. Unless they belong to Superman, and then it's okay. :)


*Yes, we are still sleeping in the guest room. It's been 16 months now. I have no idea why we're still doing that, other than it takes effort to move back into the master, and then where will all our unfolded laundry go?! Guess how long it's been since anyone has stayed over and needed access to our guest room? Yah...

Thursday, March 15, 2007

conceited?

Sometimes I really enjoy reading my own blog archives because it reminds me of the person I am. Sometimes I forget. At first I thought it was because I'm narcissistic, but I think it's because I'm senile.

I like pie.*

I have returned. Did you miss me? I missed being here.

At lunch time I actually snuck back to my office for a moment alone and found this MSN search about the male oral contraceptive pill. I like men, I really do. I like you! But if I don't want to get pregnant I'm taking my own damn pill. Just sayin'. You take your pill, I'll take mine, and we'll all feel better about the whooooole thing.

I'm slightly exhausted from my day because I didn't really eat lunch and I was giving or attending presentations all day. They're tiring! I'm having an afternoon Starbucks pre-packaged mocha to get me through until Hay comes to pick me up and take me home. I am actually glad there isn't a new episode of The Office tonight so that I don't have to feel bummed about being tired while I watch it. I like to be well rested for the Jam vs. Jaren war. (You know Jam will ultimately win.)

Oh! If you vote for American Idol, Hay begs of you to vote for Sanjaya next week. He wants the kid to make it to the top 10 so that AI is forced to let him do the tour. :D Just like that red-hedded crooner kid from last year! I fully support Hay in this endeavor.



*What? I do!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

cheat sheet

My tagline says it all. Yes, I'm making you translate multiple times. I'm evil that way.

Update: No one bothered with:

在星期四我是去。警告された! 넋두리 - я уязвлять вас!

So, either you figured it out or you gave up. It basically says that (Chinese) I am away on Thursday, (Japanese) I warned you, (Korean) if you complain (Russian) I'll bite you. That's funny stuff!

Grindhouse

If for no other reason, I'm seeing this to watch Rose McGowan with a machine gun leg:



Could April 6 please hurry up?

What makes this day so special?!

So far today I've heard it's:


How many other causes must share this day?!



Photo cred: Neatorama via Slashfood

Someone needs more fiber in his diet...

Okay, animal lovers, I need your help: The Cede family home is located next to wetlands in the northeastern United States. We have noticed two trees in two different spots within a mile radius of our home, but next to roadways, where trees have been stripped of the front side of their bark and there are wood chips lying on the ground in front of the tree. The wood chips seem to be very similar in size, approximately 1-2" long. The tree trunk seems (glancing at it from within my car) to be undamaged, but a lot of bark is missing so those trees aren't going to survive long. The stripping starts a foot or two off the ground but then goes as high as eight or ten feet. I read online that beavers aren't good climbers. What's doing this to the trees?

I'm sorry, I don't have photos. If photos are required to identify the source I'll get them sometime soon.

April 1 joke foods by A_Muffin and Rodney



Jell-O-filled eggs. Genius!

mishy

I think Apple and Lisa Loeb have conspired. I have one album from Lisa that I purchased after watching her show "Singled Out" and now all that iTunes wants to play in shuffle mode is 3 songs of varying artists then another Lisa Loeb song. I'm going to delete all but my starred songs from her album and that will solve that problem.

...

For once I planned ahead and actually made a PowerPoint presentation a month ago for a training session I'm doing tomorrow. Yesterday I was reviewing the presentation before printing out the slides with notes (for note taking, because people seem to need to take notes when I talk :) and noticed a term I didn't remember adding so I went to follow the hyperlink and found that it was missing. Huh. I know that I added one, I just didn't remember to where. I started spot checking the other 29 links that I had already spent hours researching and adding to this presentation. They were all missing. I don't normally curse in front of my female co-worker because she's like a mom to me and my mom doesn't like it when I swear so I just transfer the courtesy to my female co-worker, but yesterday I did a lot of "f f f f f f f f f" exclaiming. At least I abbreviated it.

I read online from a Microsoft MVP that there was a known problem with my version of Office and hyperlinks vanishing. The suggested solutions were: update Office; remove Office completely, reinstall, and don't update. I've done both those things. My presentation's links are still missing. Looks like I'm redoing all my research. The thing that really chafes is that I could have sworn I saved every single link to a bookmarks folder in Safari back before my computer was sent in for service. I have all my bookmarks on the computer but I cannot locate any such folder. The backup version of my presentation works just fine, but I made significant changes to it so it's basically useless to me.

I know you're all gloating that bad things happen to IT people too. It's okay to do. Go ahead, get it out of your system. Just know that Murphy's Law applies to you too so make sure to plan ahead and have a backup (whether that be the data itself or a plan for how to accomplish your task if your technology fails you). This advice is rarely heeded.

Update: I finished editing alllll the links, saved the file, viewed the show, and the links are all “off”. For example, if I hover over a Microsoft link I get a link to a Wikipedia definition. The hyperlinks aren't blank, but they're totally useless when they don't point you to the right place. I'm redoing the entire presentation now to see if that fixes the problem. Effing A2.

Update 2: That seems to have worked, although I've lost all confidence that the links will stay put. The worst that happens is that people have to play a memory game of matching appropriate links to appropriate keywords. If they don't like it they don't have to come to the presentation ever again. Works for me. :)

Update: 3: Yup, the links reverted to their preferred squirrelliness again. I am officially hating on a certain big company right now.

Update 4: It cannot be said that I am not persistent. I copied and pasted from PowerPoint to Keynote (Mac version of presentation software) then redid all the links then exported to PowerPoint. Magically, all is well now. Well, not magically. The only thing magical about this is that my computers are still on their desks rather than out the freakin' window.


...

This doesn't deserve its own post. AI top 12 was the worst I've ever experienced. I would stop watching the show, but we really enjoy hearing the judges tell almost every contestant what a disaster their performance was. I think this season we need to vote off two at a time until we get to the top 6: Blake, Chris, Jordin, Stephanie, LaKisha, and ... Okay, never mind, top 5. (No, I don't like Melinda.)

certified adult

I'm an adult, apparently! And I saw 300. Amazing. My biggest criticism: Even though none of the animals in the film were real they were killed in battle. I can watch a lot of people die (if I know it's coming) but I just can't watch the animals. Breaks my heart. I think I might want to own this movie when it comes out. I thought it was really well done (not that I'm that picky, but I know what I like and I don't go out buying tons of movies). Yes, it really only costs $7.25 for me to see a movie at night. That's not a discount. It's one of the few things in my county that still has a reasonable price tag on it.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

you're it

Please note: Until I am sick of Morse code I will randomly be changing my tagline. It has been changed from yesterday's tagline. Enjoy. And, if you want to respond in Morse code I like that very much. Especially when Jen does it. :D

Out of season Poppy Award

Best post title goes to AnonymousCoworker for I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself. Niiiice, ACW, niiiiice. :)

caps ON part 2

Another day that RAWKED (so far). I don't normally talk about work at all so I am going against my better judgment because I want to share what a freakin' awesome morning I just had.

My supervisor asked me to work on a project with our local police because the station has a few Macs and they weren't able to do something they really needed to do. Today I went over and helped “make it happen”. Everyone there was SO NICE, even the detective that found me sitting in the officer's chair and stared at me while I very hurriedly explained who I was. Then, while I was on the phone with the station's regular IT staff the officer whose computer I was configuring came in and saw me sitting in her chair and had no idea who I was so I again hurriedly explained who I was. For law enforcement they sure are nice about strangers at their desk. :)

After I was done helping with the one thing that was actually asked of me I was asked to show the detectives how to use video editing and viewing software on the Mac so that they could analyze some recent crime footage. I was then asked (jokingly) if I could pick the criminals out of a line-up. Although the footage was super grainy, I think I actually could pick one of them out because the person was dumb enough to LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE VIDEO CAMERA, at which point I paused the video, shook my finger at the screen, and yelled, “BUSTED!” which made everyone laugh. Note to criminals: If you're going to commit a crime perhaps you'd like to cover your face or at least not look directly into the camera?

The IT staff member who provides PC support then gave me a tour of the station. Can I just say that I hope I never need to be put in the timeout room? It's scary in there...

I was not able to see the chief again today, although I did talk to him prior to showing up because I kinda needed permission to be in the offices in the back. So, at least I didn't have to act all awkward and say, “I love you, you're so hot, let's take a tour of the timeout room together” because I know that's what would have come out of my mouth instead of, “hi, thanks so much for working with me on this project.” Embarrassing moment averted. :)

Don't you wish you worked with me? You do. Trust me.

Monday, March 12, 2007

hurry UP.

You know when it's half an hour before you're going home but you can't go yet but you wanna but you really need to stay but you just can't stand it one more second?! Me too.

tug of love



Warning: A bit crass. :D

dully noted

I'm not very good about planning ahead. In fact, I really prefer not to do that. This results in me occasionally finding no inspiration and therefore having nothing interesting to say. Today, right now, is one of those occasions.

So, I'm going to cop out and ask you to tell me something interesting that's happening in your life today. The most interesting thing happening to me today is probably going to be me reading your comments, so please make them good. Please?


Oh, one thing: Look up. No, no. Not up in the air. Look above the post, but below my blog name. Heed my advice. It will save your life.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Three words or less

I actually saw this at Tense Teacher and completed it, but then I decided I didn't like my answers. Since then I've seen it crop up everywhere. I'm a follower, so I'm doing it again.

The challenge: Answer each question in three words or less. Did I even need to explain? :)

1. Where is your cell phone? in my jacket
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? no
3. Hair? needs a cut
4. Your mother? awesome
5. Your father? not as awesome
6. Your favorite item? my computer?
7. Your dream last night? it was fun :)
8. Your favorite drink? ice cold Coke
9. Your dream guy? smart, funny, hot
10. The room you are in? living room
11. Your fear? enclosed spaces, death
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? 10 years wiser
13. Who did you hang out with last night? Hay and kittos
14. What are you not? obvious, forthcoming, uncomplicated
15. Are you in love? yes
16. One of your wish list items? vacation somewhere hot
17. What time is it? 13:11
18. The last thing you did? loaded the dishwasher
19. What are you wearing? t-shirt, shirt, sweats
20. Your favorite book? Confederacy of Dunces
21. The last thing you ate? more chef salad
22. Your life? always in flux
23. Your mood? mellow
24. Your friends? need to relax
25. What are you thinking about right now? Tell Her Tonight
26. Your car? not driven much
27. What are you doing at this moment? listening to music
28. Your summer? way too short
29. Your relationship status? married
30. What is on your TV screen? Veronica Mars, paused
31. When is the last time you laughed? in the car
32. Last time you cried? early Monday morning
33. School? too much pressure
34. Wishin hopin thinkin prayin? Sitting, Wishing, Waiting!
35. What are you listening to? Franz Ferdinand
36. Where do you want to be right now? where I am