Thursday, March 31, 2005

Another fight coming to an end...

According to CNN:
"Pope John Paul II was given the last rites of the Roman Catholic Church late Thursday night as his health condition deteriorated..." More

Now I feel bad for saying that God was punishing the pope for hating gay people. (I can't find the archived post of this, but I did say it indirectly.) *sigh*

Fight's over

My husband just IM'd me that Terri Shiavo died this morning. I didn't expect to feel sad because I don't know her and because I knew it was coming, and because her quality of life ended years ago, but I do feel a touch of melancholy... *sigh* This issue is too complicated for me to take a side. I have read that Terri didn't suffer from starvation because of her particular type of vegetative state, but I still feel bad for her.

Police pull guns on woman giving birth

I'm sorry, CNN, but I'm just going to rip your entire article because you don't leave your articles up for what I consider a long enough period of time.

Police were confused by the erratic driving of a woman who was on her way to the hospital because she was in the process of giving birth:
KETTERING, Ohio (AP) -- A woman rushing to a hospital to give birth hit a few stops along the way -- first at a gas station where she delivered the baby herself, then when confused police ordered her out of the car at gunpoint.

Debbie Coleman, whose 3- and 4-year-old daughters were asleep in the back seat, pulled over at a gas station just after midnight Tuesday.

"I asked if she needed help, and she just leaned back in the seat, hollered a little, and I looked down and there was the baby's head," said station co-owner Lloyd Goff, who was alerted to the emergency at pump No. 7 by a customer.

Goff said Coleman "threw her leg over the steering wheel, groaned once, and the rest of the baby came out.

"She caught that baby, put it to her chest, gave me a look, like, 'I gotta go,' closed the door, put the van in gear and away she went."

A customer at the gas station in suburban Dayton tried to give police a heads-up about Coleman's situation, but a mix-up involving the license plate number had them thinking the van was stolen.

As officers went looking for her, Coleman headed for the hospital, naked below the waist and with the baby boy in her arm. His umbilical cord was still attached.

"I kept pulling over, making sure (the baby) was all right, breathing," she said.

Meanwhile, police had straightened out the license plate issue. But another caller mistakenly reported someone trying to throw a baby from a van.

Coleman said she noticed several cruisers following her before one cut her off. With guns drawn, officers ordered her out of the van with her hands up.

"I opened the door and said, 'I just had a baby' and just let them see everything," she said.

Officers sent Coleman on and let the hospital know she was coming.

Coleman was discharged Wednesday. Her 6-pound, 8-ounce son, Richard Lee Coleman Jr., remained in intensive care.

I'm sure when I'm in labor the last thing I'm going to be thinking about is how many stops I'm making on the way to the hospital. (No, I'm not pregnant. But, it's most likely going to happen someday.)

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 11: Results

Out: Jessica!


Okay, I really can't talk because I was so sparing with my votes and Jess didn't get one from us. Oh well...

shut UP!!!!!

You know when Elaine says "shut UP!!!" and then pushes Jerry or Kramer or George or ...??!???

Okay, well, I just found Zach Braff's blog! (Thanks, Kim!!!!!) I'm sorry, I'm trying to stay calm, but I love him. Okay, yah, I'm married and I have the hots for lots of famous people, but this isn't a physical thing. Zach is a comedic GENIUS. He's my kind of funny -- subtle tongue-in-cheek geeky funny. Scrubs, Garden State, YAR. Okay, anyway. *ahem* I guess that's why we're called fans.

Where pain and pleasure hug each other

Today I had acupuncture for the first time in my life. I experienced pain when the doctor touched my injury to find "the spot" that needs healing, then pleasure (of sorts) when my body's own endorphines were released during the acupuncture treatment. During the acupuncture it felt like the site of my injury was dancing or pulsating. It was very surreal.

My doctor told me that about 1% of patients experience an altered state after acupuncture, comparable to being drunk or high. I did not feel that, but I am very tired now, and full of little tiny holes. Weird.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 11: The 90s

A very good show tonight, overall! Being a bit harsher this week with our votes...

We voted for: Nadia, Anthony, and Vonzell.

Our favorite performer: Nadia.

My favorite performance: Vonzell singing I Have Nothing.

"Don't mess with my money"

Congratulations to Tina for winning last night's RW/RR Inferno! You are my hero! Doing whatever it takes to keep your ass in the game is good in my book. :)

Sorry, Robin, I'll miss you too but Inferno wouldn't be the same without my girl Tina...

Coming up for air

Just taking a stolen moment to say that today is crazy busy at work! Hope you all are having calmer days. Looking forward to Idol tonight! :) :) More later!

Monday, March 28, 2005


I got really freaked after I saw the news about the second earthquake in Indonesia so I turned to a co-worker and friend who has a calming effect on me. Two and a half hours later I have come away with a new outlook on life. It's so weird that someone else's story can have such an impact on me. He told me how his life used to be 9 years ago and how he did a 180 and is now the person I've known for the last 3 years. I'm still in shock about what he told me. I had all these pre-conceived notions about him, and those are all shattered. He's a real human being now, someone I actually understand and can relate to rather someone who is trying to shove their beliefs in my direction, because he never was trying to do that, he was just telling me his take on the world. Wow. ... Wow.

Another earthquake in Indonesia!

    Monday, March 29, 2005 (CNN) -- An earthquake measuring a preliminary magnitude of 8.2 struck off the coast of Indonesia Monday -- on the same fault line that originated a December 26 earthquake that launched a deadly tsunami. More

Follow-up: More than 300 dead from quake, region lucky to avoid second tsunami

iChatStatus and cute kitties

There is someone in my iChat buddy list I don't like to talk to unless I absolutely need to. Said person had his iTunes playlist as his iChat status, and because I didn't want to talk to him I instead googled until I found iChatStatus. Now, instead of having a helpful status such as [in X location] or [in Y location] or [in a meeting] or [client visit], etc. my Available and Away messages show what song is playing on my computer! :D (You can add a suffix if you really need to tell people where you are...) You can customize iChatStatus to only show when you're Available, but I like the idea that my computer can keep rocking out while I'm not around. So, if you have Mac OS X 10.2 or higher, try out iChatStatus! Just a head's up, by default iChatStatus does not load at startup, you have to check the box labelled Automatically Start at Login.

I was trying to quickly google for a way to do the same thing on Windows (iTunes->IM client), but instead stumbled upon sarah. word. which has a great link to help Windows users post their iTunes playlist to their website or blog.

Among many other cool things, Sarah has a great link to see endless photos of cute kittens! Yay!

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Too much time on my hands

Our Easter plans were cancelled due to illness, and my attempt to purchase Easter candy late yesterday ended with me getting frontally violated by a woman who pinned me against a candy rack with her ass as I attempted to walk behind her, so no celebrating bunnies today. Instead, I am celebrating the web and finding ways to entertain myself. Hedonistica has a great link to w00kie's transparent screens slide show. It's amazing that people are patient enough to line up their desktop to their environment, no? Yes!

Tigey moves on to kitty heaven

Definite uncontrollable crying alert: The Mows have lost their beloved Tigerlily. The experience has been chronicled into comic strip form. It brought back memories of us having to put LK to sleep last March, heart breaking but it was the only way to make the suffering stop. Sucks that kitties have to die before us... Of course I happened to be listening to Hold on Hope by Guided By Voices when I read the story, which made it even harder to read without sobbing all over my keyboard. Sigh. :'(


100 acre woods quiz

Even though Eeyore is my favorite, apparently I'm Winnie-the-Pooh! I totally agree with the 100 acre assessment:

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Thanks to P'nut for the link!

iPod isolation?

Raise your hand if you have an iPod. *raising hand* Now, raise your hand if you have no friends since obtaining said iPod. *placing hand firmly at side* What a crock of shit! If I see someone with an iPod I'm actually more inclined to speak to them! And I'm an introvert!!!

Saturday, March 26, 2005


I gave the American version of The Office a try. Verdict: possibly a keeper. They changed the script enough so that it has a bit of a life of its own, but I did constantly compare each scene to the British version. I don't know how they're going to pull off the scene in the second season when Trudy gets a dildo for her birthday as well as an extra present on her hands and knees on the side of the road.

How do bloggers get naked fan followings?

In my travels through blogland I've seen more than once that bloggers will have fans who send pictures of themselves naked or topless while they hold signs saying they are fans of the site. Example, starterupsteve. Granted, I'm not a man, but I'm just curious how the whole naked fan following gets started. Do I need to be in the porn business or something? If it helps, I love the show Family Business.

Brit just a bitbit pregnant?

I have a soft spot for Britney Spears. I don't know why, I cannot explain it. She's just hot and inarticulate and trashy and a bad girl. All the things I aspire to be! When I first saw photos of her in a bikini at Pink Is The New Blog I thought she just had a little chub but then britpoppa published this photo and I cannot help but think she's got a Federbun in the oven. Hmm.

Happy Scrappy

Last night we had a toast to our pal Roger who is currently in the southern United States being trained to defend his ass in Iraq. We collected a "Roger is tipsy" fund to get him virtually drunk. The money collected will go directly to Roger so that he can pay for communicating back home since the military apparently doesn't pay for that "luxury".

Since Rog is so busy with his training I have taken over publication of his blog which chronicles his experiences at training and will hopefully continue to chronicle Iraq if he can ever get an email, letter, or phone call to us!

Today I'm busy doing domestic errands and updating Roger's blog, so I'll bid adieu until much later with a picture of Roger's cat:

Thursday, March 24, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 10: Results

Wow, 31.5 million people re-voted on Wednesday after the Tuesday mishap? If that's true, it's pretty incredible! I did have a lot of trouble getting through for every single person during the Wednesday vote, whereas on Tuesday I only had trouble getting through for Carrie.

Niceties aside!

Out: Mikalah.


Yesterday I was looking through Google images for a picture of a cricket. Instead I found Louie!!

Isn't he adorable? I did find him on a site where you can order crickets, but I've come to the realization that crickets are not very attractive... Hmm.

Where the hell was I when this came out?

Not that I think Vincent Gallo or Chloë Sevigny are in any way hot, but when did The Brown Bunny come to a theater near me?! I'm always willing to watch a good BJ! (I warned you before that I'm slightly pervy for a lady. ;)

AI - "rubbish!"

Hey, they said it, not me:
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- It's "rubbish" to suggest there was a deliberate effort to tinker with "American Idol" by putting wrong voting information on-screen, a series producer said Wednesday.

Fox's talent contest, which viewers decide by casting phone or text-messaging votes, showed incorrect call-in numbers Tuesday for Mikalah Gordon, Anwar Robinson and Jessica Sierra.

It was the second unsettling incident for "American Idol" in two weeks. Finalist Mario Vazquez quit abruptly and without explanation March 12.

"Why would we contaminate the honesty of one of the top-rated shows in America by fiddling with it?" executive producer Ken Warwick asked Wednesday in a telephone news conference.

"It's regrettable. This was a human error and we had to address it as best we could," Warwick said. An independent contractor was responsible for the on-air display, he said, declining to identify the company.

All the results were tossed out and a new vote was to be conducted after the filmed performances were re-aired Wednesday in an expanded hourlong show. The outcome -- one contestant is voted off each week -- will be announced in a half-hour special 9 p.m. EST Thursday.

Various remedies were considered but the producers decided the fairest outcome would be based on the performances the singers had given, not new ones, Warwick said. The 11 finalists took the error in stride, he said.

Judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul "were as flabbergasted about it as we were," Warwick said.

Conceding that the program has been dogged by accusations of everything from racism to an anti-overweight bias skewing the outcome, Warwick said the contest's honesty has been proven.

He dismissed any possibility of conspiracy in the latest incident, which comes in the fourth season. Web sites were abuzz with speculation, reporters noted.

"It's rubbish. We wouldn't contaminate the success of the show in fiddling with it, and that's the truth," he said. More

I'm a sucker, so I plan on watching the results show tonight at 9pm. You don't have to, it's ok...

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 10: "Do Over"

I don't even have to think of a clever title, American Idol has made fun of itself by calling tonight's show the "do over".

.|.|. .|.|. .|.|.
(crickets chirping)

Wow, that was an expansive waste of my time, an exact regurgitation of last night's show. No new performances, just introductions to last night's performances then the judges restated what they (dis)liked about any given contestant. I coulda watched yesterday's recording for that, folks.

So, anyway, here's who we voted for (again): Carrie, Scott, Nikko, Vonzell, and Jessica.

this (not) just in: TMBG appeals to kiddies

All my friends with kids own TMBG's kid albums, but apparently CNN just got the memo:

ALBANY, New York (AP) -- Audiences at a recent They Might Be Giants concert were rocking out -- or at least jumping up and down a bit before bedtime.

Kids about kindergarten age filled the front rows during a bookstore concert by the veteran rock duo that built a following among the college radio crowd for their witty, often nerdy, songs. But on this night they were supporting a new CD and DVD made especially for kids, an homage to the alphabet titled "Here Come the ABCs."

The children packed in alongside twentysomethings as the group gave a rousing rendition of "Alphabet of Nations":

"Algeria! Bulgaria! Cambodia! Dominica! Egypt! France! ..." More

In my opinion, everyone should own the entire TMBG collection (ok, why are the CDingles not on here? Why Does The Sunshine? Back to Skull? Indestructible Object? Yo?) and all the little ones should start out with NO! and Here Come the ABCs.

Umm, EW!

Okay, if my dentist sprayed semen in my mouth I'd be really angry that he only got 120 days in prison for it. (Thanks to This Guy's World for providing me the most disturbing story I've encountered in quite some time.)

Go ahead, fence me in

This is probably a better story if you just took "happy pills" like I did...

Today was my "6 week adjustment" for my adult braces, which was really 8 weeks from my last appointment. Someone else I know who has adult braces suggested that I take ibuprofen before my adjustments because they pull so much on your teeth that you're sore after. But, because of the medications I am taking for a temporary but quite painful medical problem I can't take extra ibuprofen, aspirin, or acetaminophen.

Sooooo, today I experienced a very unpleasant violation of my mouth by a very friendly person who had only good intentions, but I couldn't take a pain reliever for the adjustment so the result is that I can only eat mushy foods. I had mashed potatoes for dinner. With cheese. And (real, not crunchy) bacon bits. And butter. No sour cream, but only because we finished that off last night. So, a happy ending to a not-so-happy beginning.

And, now that I'm home and have no more appointments to go to, I took my evening dose of happy pills, so life is good no matter what happens on American Idol tonight! ;)

AI screws up

Conspiracy alert! No wonder popbytes is sick of Idol! Now AI is creating fake drama by "screwing up" and having to redo this week's vote. And I quote:
"Due to an error with the graphics shown on-screen (incorrect voting numbers were displayed) during the performance recap at the end of last night’s AMERICAN IDOL, a live, one-hour show will air tonight, Wednesday, March 23 9/8c on FOX, to enable a re-vote. This new show will combine new live elements with encores of Tuesday’s performances from the remaining 11 contestants.

Phone lines will open at the conclusion of tonight's show and will remain open for two hours to give viewers the chance to vote for their favorite contestants and keep them in the competition. Only the voting results from tonight’s show will determine who received the lowest number of votes and will be sent home this week. Tune in to see who America has chosen to stay and who is sent home on the live results show tomorrow, Thursday, March 24 9/8c live on FOX."  More

I don't even watch the recap, I write down my picks as they perform, but I'll jump through hoops to vote again. And, yes, I'll be voting for the very same people as last night.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 10: Billboard #1's

A rollercoaster of a night, but not really in a good way. Some of my favorites stank. Some of my unfavorites stank. Then, a few contestants shone through.

We voted for: Carrie, Scott, Nikko, Vonzell, and Jessica.
(Took me 10 tries to get through for Carrie, so you know what that means...)

Our favorite performer: Jessica.

My favorite performance: Scott singing a tribute to his dad, Against All Odds. (You made me cry.)

I know Paula is having a difficult time because she was caught in a hit-and-run, but does she have to get high to forget her problems? She gets sloppy-horny when she does the drugs... Straight up now tell me.

ky isn't just for kentucky!

I was watching a rerun of Single in the City on We and saw an ad for the new KY warming gel. The commercial said if I go to I can get a free sample! So, yup, I signed up for it. Too bad I won't get my warming gel sample until it's 90 degrees outside and I no longer *need* warm gel. Sorry to disappoint, I probably won't be telling you how it turned out... ;)

double-u hillbillies: feeding tubes, movie stars

I was telling someone about this same subject just yesterday! That person responded by telling me she had a nice vacation. (wtf?) I love moxiegrrrl's moxie!

A little pick-us-up

Jenna is Annoyed has a fabulous post about life's certainties.

Our household favorite is #1: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The one we feel an obligation to appreciate is #14: Your true friends love you anyway.

And, this one's for the talented Ms. Tiger Lilly, #15: Never be afraid to try something new. :)

Monday, March 21, 2005

HST conspiracy?

Been hanging around the Next Blog button and finally found the first instance of someone else using the same template as I use. So, I took an extra minute to review the site and found an interesting article about Hunter S. Thompson being murdered for his WTC collapse research. Hmmmmm... Fishy.


I'm dog tired. Went to bed too late, had a shitty night of sleep, went to work early, had a really (productive but) long meeting, didn't eat lunch until 3pm, stayed late, ran errands after work, and now I'm sitting on my couch just deflated. Anyone with me on this one?

"Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays!"

Columbine, Minnesota

CNN breaking news: Six people died and up to 12 were wounded when a student went on a shooting rampage in Minnesota, a fire official said.

Perhaps this explains why I woke in the middle of the night to a really loud high-pitched sound that turned out to be in my head? Premonitions.

Perhaps the name of Red Lake, Minnesota should have been premonition enough.

Can't we all just get along, for fuck's sake?

Curiosity for disaster

This Thursday night is the premiere of the US version of The Office. As I already predicted it would be, The New York Times finds the show to be rubbish.

I still am mad that all the best British television shows keep ending up in US-butchered form on the cutting room floor, and I'll bet myself a dollar that I end up feeling the same about this show.

But, I am fascinated by disasters so I'll give a try.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

oooh, this my shit, this my shit

In the past I had to choose between MADtv and Saturday Night Live because the second half of MAD and first half hour of SNL are on at the same time. Of course I chose MADtv because it more consistently leaves me laughing my ass off rather than feeling embarrassed by badness like SNL usually does. We recently obtained a DVR that has two tuners so we can now record both shows -- no more choosing my favorite child.

I just finished watching SNL with musical guest Gwen Stefani. I love watching her live performances because she adds a punk/ska tone that normally doesn't make it to her top 40 recorded version. But, as I watched my favorite song from her Love. Angel. Music. Baby album, Hollaback Girl, I was really frustrated. She was so f'ing hot in her Milan cheerleeder outfit and black stilettos with the live marching band as backup, but she couldn't say "shit" because of FCC lockdown, so the whole song basically gets ruined. I'd like to see a free pass for obscenities when they add to the creative element. This song really does it for me when Gwen sings it as it is intended, but when it is censored it's just not as good. I mean, what the hell is "this mm is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s" compared to "this shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s"?

If viewers are offended by swearing, why would they watch SNL? They even censored Ashton Kutcher saying "son of a bitch" during one of his skits. C'mon!

Use Your Illusion 2

Anyone who thinks that two years into the "war" it's safer for US troops to be in Iraq is just plain wrong.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

There's no place like LocalHost

I think this t-shirt is probably too obscure to wear around town:

...but I got a nice chuckle out of it. Perhaps it's time to educate the world about their [windir]\system32\drivers\etc\hosts file? I have to muck around in it often when investigating Windows malware infections. Yes, the real reason why I use a Mac -- because PCs have fleas. Good tip to keep your hosts file from being hosed: lock it up.

(No, I won't regularly be posting geek tricks. Sorry, it's late. I get a little silly at night.)

Method #3641 for goofing off at work

When I need a break at work I'll stick in my Yahba Opus earphones and watch a few dark comedy shorts from AtomFilms. If anyone catches me with my earphones in I say I'm listening to a webcast / webinar or just listening to music in iTunes. Or, if I'm feeling bitchy, I just give them my "what the fuck do YOU want?" look.

When I feel sufficiently guilty I remove my earphones and return to my work, pretending like nothing ever happened. Perhaps I should have sent this as a postcard to PostSecret. Oh well, too late!

I can't feel too guilty about this because every single time I go to one of the guys to talk with them about something they're watching stolen movies, playing games, doing homework for whatever class they happen to be taking, or talking on their cells. So, yah. I'm the puritan of the group.

I know I'm a nerd because...

I am spending my Saturday afternoon sitting around in my Apple long sleeve t-shirt, blogging on my PB aluminum, and watching the movie Trekkies for (not the first, not the second, but) the third time in my life and actually identifying with several of the fans.

During the segment where a man says he changed his name to James T. Kirk I turned to my husband and said, "if he were a real Star Trek fan he would have changed his name to James R. Kirk, which was the name on his tombstone in one of the early episodes" and my husband responds "oh yah, that was the pilot episode!" (It's actually the second pilot episode and the name on the tombstone was incorrect, but the point is that it's sad that we're discussing this on a sunny weekend afternoon instead of ... ... ... ... so many other things.)

My favorite is the Elvis trekkie. (Hey, none of that snobbery about trekkie v. trekker, ok?)

Travel log of a confused college girl

Back in college I did Spring Break by myself in England and Belgium. Today I found a travel diary I wrote with a pen on paper (original!) while my trip progressed. For the first time ever I reveal my secret notes of that trip:

    Day 1
      Arrive Heathrow 930am
      get luggage, travel cards, ticket for bus
      take bus to Reading
      take train to Twyford
      call V and R to come get me
      arrive Woodley around 130pm
      get oriented

    Day 2
      Train from Twyford to Paddington
      tube from Paddington to Victoria
      arrive Victoria 11am
      get boarding pass for coach (rail to Ramsgate is down)
      coach is full, have to wait till next one
      catch coach 125pm
      fatal accident on motorway
      arrive at ferry dock too late for jetfoil
      take 630pm ferry to Oostende
      arrive Oostende at 1130pm Belgium time
      take special coach at 12am
      arrive Liège 330am, meet M, D
      stay up with A till 6am

    Day 3
      Meet M
      Walk around Liège with A
      eat a Belgian waffle
      see A's school
      go to café for a drink
      everything closed
      spend evening eating, talking, etc.

    Day 4
      Get ready to leave
      go downtown with A to shop
      go to Art Rock Café
      leave Liège by train 130pm
      arrive ferry 5pm
      jetfoil cancelled
      take 530pm ferry back to Ramsgate
      arrive Ramsgate 9pm
      leave Ramsgate by coach 930pm
      get to Ramsgate station 10pm
      special train to Victoria Station at 1030pm
      arrive Victoria 1230am
      tube to Paddington
      miss train from Paddington to Twyford by 2 minutes
      take 125am train to Reading
      take taxi from Reading to Twyford
      arrive Twyford 230am

    Day 5
      Go to Oxford Circus to shop
      Go to Houses of Parliament, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey

    Day 6
      Go to Longdon Zoo
      go to Picadilly Circus to shop

    Day 7
      Go to Buckingham Palace, St. James Park
      go to science museum
      go to Picadilly Circus to shop
      Guinness World Records Exhibition
      go to Oxford Circus to shop

    Day 8
      Go to Oxford
      visit museum of science and medicine
      go to Lands End Pub

    Day 9
      Go home (V & R drive to Heathrow)

Yup, so that was my trip. A few added notes: In the Belgium café several people had dogs, and in the Lands End Pub the owners had a black cat who sat in the empty seat at our table. I understand that many people are allergic to animals, but I do wish that animals were more incorporated into our daily lives in the States. The "fatal accident" on Day 2 was that of a man on a motorcycle who somehow was decapitated as he was driving on the motorway. I guess I was never meant to take the jetfoil... Day 4's Belgian waffle was authentic -- made by a street vendor in Liège. Belgian waffles have sugar cubes at the crosshairs, super sweet and delicious. On Day 5 I actually spent the majority of the day with an Australian tourist. She and I took pictures of each other so that we'd have proof we were at places. Unfortunately my camera was having problems with feeding the film for the majority of the trip so I have no photos of many of my conquested visits. On Day 6 I distinctly remember walking up and down Picadilly Circus attempting to get locals to ask me to hang out with them, or to snatch me up into their world. It didn't work so I eventually went to a TGI Fridays and had a veggie burger with sparkling water. Whenever I watch Office Space and see Jennifer Aniston's character at Chotchky's I remember my time at TGI Friday's. While I was there I didn't know TGIF's was a chain. *sigh*

Last weekend I found a short story that I wrote after my trip about my experience called "Steak and Kidney Pie" in which I make V & R out to be quite evil. In the story V attempts to take my kidneys for the pie. In actuality they were the sweetest people I have ever met. I did eat a freshly made steak and kidney pie prepared by V, but it was beef kidney.

Kidneys aside, it's definitely time to renew my passport...

Friday, March 18, 2005

Vazquez record deal rumors fueled

Congratulations, Mario! Looks like someone, if not Diddy himself, is signing this sexy Idol drop-out:

NEW YORK (AP) -- Mario Vazquez is no longer contending for the "American Idol" crown, but he's following in the footsteps of one of its most famous alumni -- Clay Aiken.

Vazquez has hired Aiken's lawyer, Jess L. Rosen -- the man who sprung Aiken from the contract binding him to the 19 Entertainment, the management company owned by "American Idol" creator Simon Fuller. More

I checked out Mario's message boards and it seems like a 50-50 split of fans who are mad at him for quitting Idol so turning their backs on him vs. fans who are just glad he got a record deal so they can continue to see and hear more of him. People, who cares how he got a record deal, the guy is super talented and deserves it! I've heard a lot of people on my top 40 radio station who are much less deserving... Plus, separating himself from Idol gives him a better chance of not carrying the "looks like Justin Guarini" stigma. (From Justin to Kelly, yo?)

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Who can resist the Bud?

That little snarly curl is just so adorable!!!

The kitties are definitely jealous of Buddy.

Fft fft

I would have thought I had a thicker skin, but when I realized someone in blogland was being mean to me I broke down. My husband was wondering what the hell was wrong with me while I sat sobbing on the couch, staring at the "dirty dig" on my computer screen. I felt so embarrassed for being upset that I wouldn't tell him for a few minutes what had happened. I mean, I'm just blogging for fun and some person I don't even know gets nasty at me. ... ... ...???

I thought the blogging community had a neighborhood watch, but apparently bullying occurs in cyberspace even between complete strangers. Speaking of which, there was an interesting article in the last issue of People magazine about a boy who committed suicide because he was being teased through instant message by girls from his school. Can't find that particular article online, so here's a different site with info about cyberbullying. I'm sure more adults are reading this site than children, so parents please teach your kids about tolerance, acceptance, equality, being *kind* to strangers, and the harmful effects of passive aggressive behavior.

Hmm, I feel better now. (sort of. well, not really, but I'll get over it someday.)

Bizzy inferno

Is Biz Markie selling the shirt off your back? Just got this email update from TShirt Hell:

Celebrity Fit Club is over and now I can finally get back to gorging on Slim
Jims and Peeps followed by my purging into the mouths of Ethiopian children.
(oh boo hoo yourself... I don't see you contributing to the cause. They
gotta get their food from somewhere even if it is regurgitated from yours
truly's sexy mouth).

For all of you that don't realize by now, I was one of the fat pigs on
the show. Which one? Hint: I know that Stubby Baldwin has a 3 inch cock
(that drugged-up bitch tried to stick that tiny thing into my gaping,
chocolate hole of deliciousness) and I also know that Mia Tyler smells like
Biz Markie's balls (she loves balls). Speaking of Mia Tyler, did I mention
that she smells like Biz Markie's balls?

I *love* Celebrity Fit Club, but have yet to watch the finale. My guess is that Biz is the author and therefore the owner of TShirt Hell. Biz, you rock! I'm definitely ordering your pizza! (Click here to see what the hell I'm talking about.)

I highly recommend that you become a Lazy Little Bitch which also grants you the privilege of receiving the monthly newsletter.

Backup trauma

My big brother sent me this video about backup trauma, presented by John Cleese. Funniest thing I've seen today, always up for a little John Cleese.

American Idol Season 4, Week 9: Results

Apologies to West Coast for letting you down, I was given very happy pills for a medical procedure so when I got home I was barely awake. My husband forwarded through to the end of Idol for me so that I could at least report this morning.

Out: Lindsey.

We voted for Lindsey based solely on Simon's nasty comment. Fine by me that she's out, she definitely wasn't going to make it to the end. But, those who we didn't vote for Tuesday are the ones who need to go. You know who you are!

Still feelin' the meds. Damn, wish I had some more for a rainy day!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Diddy steals the deal

Thanks to city rag for posting Page SixSixSix's coverage of the Mario affair. Rumor-as-fact has it that Sean John Combs, better known as P Diddy (or Puffy for the old school generation) stole Mario away from American Idol. I'll have fries with that.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Because I don't know better...

I love the show Scrubs on so many levels. One of my all time favorite episodes repeated this evening, in which Turk attempts to bring it, but it's already been broughted:

(Courtesy of Scrubs)

J.D.: Half of what rappers say doesn't make any sense. Like that Snoop Dogg-Dr. Dre song? What does "still hittin' them corners and those ho-hos girl" mean?

Turk: Many disadvantaged African-Americans have limited nutritional choices, therefore they must subsist on Ho-Ho snack cakes. It's a black thing, bro.

Molly: Actually, Turk, it's "still hittin' them corners and them 'lo-los' girls." Lo-los, not ho-hos.

Elliot: See, Turk, in the 'hood, a lo-lo is a lowrider, or a car with an adjusted suspension that allows it to bounce up and down.

She and Molly demonstrate the movement with their hands, much to J.D.'s amusement.

Elliot: And Dre and Snoop enjoy driving around together in their lowriders around the corners, or lizzle-rizzles.

Elliot: [rapping] I'm representin' for them gangstas all across the world!

Molly: [rapping] Still hittin' them corners and them lo-los girls!

Elliot: [rapping] Still --

Elliot & Molly : [rapping] -- taking my time to perfect the beat, and I still got love for the street!

Carla: Turk! You just got schooled on rap by the two whitest chicks in America!

Turk: None of you can prove it!

J.D.: I got it on tape.

Elliot and Molly make scratch noises.


American Idol Season 4, Week 9: 60s Theme

Our first week with the top 12!

A few comments about performances: Constantine, I was mounting you through the screen during your performance. On a less pervy note -- Nadia, you were beautiful vocally and visually. Back on the pervy note -- when I read the spoiler I thought Scott was doing TLC's version of Ain't Too Proud to Beg, but the original Temptations version makes so much more sense. :) Perv off -- Nikko, your voice is awesome. America had no business voting you off last time! Glad you're back, even if under suspicious circumstances.

We voted for: Mikalah, Constantine, Lindsey, Nadia, Bo, Vonzell, Scott, and NIKKO!!!!!!!!
(Had lots of trouble getting through for Bo and Scott, which to me is a good sign!)

Our favorite performer: Nadia.

My favorite performance: Constantine singing You've Made Me So Very Happy. :-? *yum*

Stacking up the idols

Entertainment Weekly has some good writers, full of wit, pith, spunk, ... I'll stop before I get myself into trouble. EW has a rundown of the top 12's chances for success. Included are suggested song choices! I agree with much of what is said about each of the contestants! Wow, to be paid to think so critically about American Idol, a dream job!

AI spoiler posted by audience member

I have been delusional and assumed that "live" performances of American Idol theme nights happen as we watch, or are delayed five minutes from when we watch, but apparently they're pre-recorded. A fan received tickets to the Monday taping for the Tuesday show (yah, tonight!), and she posted her summary to alt.gossip.celebrities. (Warning, if you click the link you definitely will spoil your dinner!)

I'm in AI withdrawal, so I don't care that I know what's going to happen tonight -- I'm watching!

Monday, March 14, 2005


Four reasons I am jonesing:

  1. No American Idol tonight, because top 12 only airs Tuesdays and Wednesdays (what the hell am I supposed to do without 3 nights of AI?!)

  2. There's nothing to watch on television because of #1, and I'm severely addicted to TV

  3. My buddy Roger just sent me the saddest email I've ever read in my entire email life (a long time) about how much he misses his wife and I really want to "fix" this situation, but I can't (this doesn't quite constitute a jones, unless I change the definition to mean "I'm sad", but this is my blog so just go with it, thanks)

  4. Cadbury Mini Eggs are calling my name, but I'm too lazy to get up and grab them.

So ends my jones.

Farewell to TIhamF

A fond farewell with best wishes is offered to the author of Things I hate about my Flatmate. I am so glad you had the opportunity to move out, but we will miss your pith.

La revedere!

We *need* an exit strategy

No more talk about success strategies, we need to bring our soldiers home now.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- For more than a year, Rep. Joe Wilson's desk at the House Armed Services Committee was the intersection of his personal and political interest in the Iraq war.

On the table were bills about how to pay for and supply the conflict. Underneath, a handheld computer buzzed with real-time reports from his son Alan, an intelligence officer in southern Iraq.

"I would get a 'Hey Dad' message almost every day," the South Carolina Republican recalls. "I felt like I was voting on legislation, but I was living it simultaneously."

For about half a dozen members of Congress who have had kids serving in Iraq, the war is far more than a matter of public policy. They debate it and often defend it -- with eyes on public opinion, like almost any elected official. But they also live the war through those most dear to them.

Therein lies a lesson about the limits of power.

Lawmakers may be able to shift billions of dollars to pet projects or get seats at a state dinner. But none has the muscle to keep a child safe in a war zone, half a world away. More

I get almost daily updates about or from my buddy Roger who is miserable at training. He is not new to the military, and yet just preparing for this "war" for which no one can agree upon the purpose is bringing his spirit down. He is not against defending our country, but he is a realist and knows this is the Middle East Vietnam, and he doesn't want to get spit on or shunned by society or become an addict to forget what he sees in Iraq *if* he makes it back home. He is emotionally miserable and I fear for his safety. A soldier whose head is not in the game is as good as fodder.

The man who was just a few weeks ago the life and spirit of our workplace "family" is now being broken by a system that clearly doesn't care about his well-being. I am disgusted, sad, angry, confused, and belligerent. I'm sure I'll have more adjectives when he finally gets shipped over to his secret hiding place.

AI's Mario leaves, Nikko steps back into the game!

I think this is more of a breaking news item than when Michael Jackson gets confused and tells his driver to go to hospital instead of court:

Mario Vazquez has walked away from the top 12 of American Idol for personal reasons. Nikko Smith (son of baseball great Ozzie Smith) is back in the competition! See, America! I told you that you were wrong about Nikko!!! :p

The AI site has been updated to reflect the new top 12 and one of my favorite celebrity news sources, popbytes, has jumped on the story. (Okay, okay, so I'm the one who told mk, but it's a true story, I swear!)

Good luck, Nikko!!!! We'll miss you, Mario!

Your new top 12: Lindsey, Bo, Mikalah, Anthony, Jessica, Constantine, Vonzell, Anwar, Nadia, Scott, Carrie, and Nikko.

(Did anyone else catch Ike and Ron at the AI red carpet event on MADtv? Hil-effin-arious. I love that show... [Bring back Mo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!])

Sunday, March 13, 2005

"When I grow up I want to be a cracker!"

Congratulations to Pierre Kroma for being the first to hack his way into a web server at the 2005 CeBIT fair! Yah, so the rest of us attempt to innocently break into some server and we go to prison, but if it's at a fair it's okay... fucked up world.

And, not to stir up a ton of trouble, but if CNN's picture is from AP News, why is the same exact photo and a similar caption at WTOPNEWS? See? At least Live Hacks has a different angle of him.

Making up conspiracies since 19??. ;)

the magical Penguin

Is it true? Can penguins turn sea water into fresh water? Neat!

Traumatized by googling...again.

It's a boring day after spending much of yesterday in the ER for a reason not my own to share. So, I was looking around at my coffee table and saw my bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs and decided to google the word bunny. One of the first hits was Big Bunny.

Uh Huh. No explanation, other than a god-like voice grunting when you move around the screen. Soooo, I clicked the Yummy Episodes, randomly chose number 3, and got Suzy. I like watching little Suzy tell the big godBunny to go to hell. Disturbed. I think I'm going to give up on safe surfing today and go make homemade mac and cheese. I'll take my chances with the kitchen fire...

Friday, March 11, 2005

Make-up test

Well, I retook the What obsolete skill are you? quiz and still came up as 'growing one's own food'. wtf? So, I went to the results page and decided that I wanted to lie and say I was QBasic. I kept taking the quiz over and over again to get the code for QBasic. I got French, shorthand, and juggler, but never QBasic. I give. So, let's pretend I answered the quiz questions "correctly" and I'm QBasic, cuz that's my all-time favorite editor:

Ahhhhhh, much better. Of course I realize this reinforces the fact that I'm a nerd, but I don't care.

Fetch, Fluffy!

Eating my words... Found something interesting to post. Here's a video of a kitty playing fetch. My calico/maine coon likes to carry her toys around the house in her mouth and meow incessantly, so I tried to teach her how to fetch her toys. She understood what I wanted her to do, but she was trying to pick up her toys with her paws instead of her mouth and wasn't quite dexterous enough for paw pick-up. Maybe I'll try again this weekend...

Not feelin' it

I haven't seen anything cool or had any interesting thoughts or done anything particularly interesting that doesn't involve my workplace since Wednesday, so I hate to post a non-post, but I hate to think I'm leaving you hanging. Poor Tiger Lilly has been posting her guts out and no one was commenting on her stuff. So, if you're reading this post, please go visit her site and post a comment! Thanks. :)

(Little Miss Tiger Lilly)

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 8: Results

Out: Nikko, Travis, Janay, and Amanda.

"Your top 12": Lindsey, Bo, Mikalah, Anthony, Jessica, Constantine, Vonzell, Anwar, Nadia, Scott, Carrie, and Mario.

Still shocked about Nikko, but America voted correctly about the others. (Sorry, Travis, you're a hottie, but...)

But Mom, it's not what you think!

Did I mention before that I am slightly pervy?

I clicked the Next Blog button on this sweet, innocent school girl's site and landed at skank puppet. My mind instantly went to the bad, dirty place. I felt the anticipation of knowing I was about to see some hot naughtiness, It's some flippin' bot creating tons of blogs with random keywords including strawberry handshake and carrot thief. Effin' waste of my emotions. Hatin'. ... gah.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 8: Women

We voted for: Vonzell, Nadia, and Jessica.

Our favorite performer: Nadia.

My favorite performances: Vonzell singing Respect and Jessica singing The Boys Are Back In Town.

Predictions: Amanda and Janay will not make the top 12. For whatever reason, we can't let Mikalah go...

Best part: Ryan Seacrest throwing water on Simon for insulting Ryan via the description of Lindsey's performances. Cowell, you're a dick sometimes. Way to go, Ryan. :)

Huh? I thought I was French.

I used the Next Blog button (love it!) and found Slice Squared which had a link about cats who like to watch their owners pee that brought me to Grand Mental Station. On this site I saw a Quizilla quiz labelled What obsolete skill are you? The blogger's obsolete skill was "French" which confused me because there was a coat of arms so I assumed it meant that *she* was French rather than that her special obsolete skill was *speaking* French. Anyway, I took the quiz expecting to also have the obsolete French skill, and, um, got a kinda crunchy answer instead:

You are 'growing one's own food'. You are guided by two words: 'Live simply.' You value quality over quantity in most things, and you have little use for the materialism and consumerism of modern culture. You know the value of hard work and try to be self-sufficient as much as possible, and what you do you do well. Unfortunately, no man is an island, and you cannot do everything yourself. Your puritanical work ethic makes makes people think that you are weird, and not much fun. Your problem is that growing one's own food has been obsolete for a long time.

Um, I do grow flowers, and cat nip for the kitties, and we planted a lot of trees and grew onions and tomatoes last summer. And, I have a fair number of house plants. don't live simply at all. I love material possessions. I am lazy and therefore don't enjoy being self-sufficient. I definitely don't have a puritanical work ethic. People think I'm weird *and* fun. Hmm. Maybe I should retake the quiz when I didn't just swallow my happy pills.

Welcome to big burger, home of the...yah.

I swear I ate at this restaurant, or at least at the same chain, when I was in Florida in December.


(Care of Hedonistica. )

Man, I wish I had one of those right now...

207? Yah, right.

Caught Kirstie Alley's first episode of Fat Actress at Yahoo's site today. I have read that she claims she was never more than 207 lbs. I hate to break it to you, hon, but if your top weight was 207 lbs then I'm really a butt-chewing chimpanzee. If you're going to be a role model for weight loss you should be honest about your weight. Otherwise, get off the soap box and let someone who can be real be our inspiration for healthy living.

BTW, thought the show was pretty funny, but only because I couldn't believe Kirstie would put herself through such humiliation. I was left feeling slightly ashamed of myself for watching.

Monday, March 07, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 8: Men

Okay, Constantine, if you keep performing like that I'm going to need to make out with you.

We voted for: Scott (dude, hot hot hot!!!), Nikko, and Constantine.

Our favorite performer: Scott.

My favorite performance: Constantine singing Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. (I am seriously weak in the knees after this one.)

Our prediction: Travis and Bo are out this week.

poussez le bouton, dammit!

I've spent 2 fruitless search sessions trying to find other moods than unkymoods. I don't generally feel like a cartoon character, so it bugs me that my mood has to look like one. Anyway, in doing a search for moods I came across e l e v a t o r m o o d s. Push the up button then travel to the different floors. My personal fav is the 8th floor. :)

If anyone has suggestions for moods that don't look like cartoon characters, please post in my comments section.

Update: I'm up to 3 searches (3 is the number for counting, mu-hahaha!). I found but that's worse than unky for describing my mood. So, I think I'll permanently leave my mood at unky drunk. Because, hey, I like being drunk.
%-} *hiccup*

Sunday, March 06, 2005

"Never, but never, fuck with The King"

Bruce Campbell as Elvis + the late Ossie Davis as JFK = the best movie ever. When Bubba Ho-tep came to my town for one week only I went and saw it at the independent film theater. It rocked my casbah. So, I bought it as well as all the other major Bruce Campbell movies (Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, Evil Dead III [Army of Darkness]) as a gift from Santa/kitties for me and my husband. We finally busted out Bubba Ho-tep tonight to watch it on our non-theater-sized television. Even better the second time. Ossie Davis kicks ass portraying a dyed John F. Kennedy with a bag of sand filling part of his head helping Elvis (Bruce) to fight off the evil soul-sucking pharaoh (Ho-tep).


Use your spare change to rent this film. Or, better yet, use the first hour or two of your paycheck to buy it. (If you make enough money so that you don't even need to work at least half an hour to buy this film then you are under contractual obligation to buy one copy for yourself and 5 more copies for strangers.)

pesci tart

There's no telling what my mind will come up with when I'm bored. Just now I was sitting at an empty browser window and thought, "let's see where takes me". Answer: a self-proclaimed snarky t-shirt shop.

Perhaps my favorite shirt is Intervention which makes fun of lushed out dolls *and* Michael Jackson at the very same time. Too bad the tag line isn't actually printed on the shirt.

Just in case you order a shirt from fishpie, please be advised that the animal shirts are not made of animal, which makes us happy. *phew*!

Wensleydale back in style

A new Wallace and Gromit film is out soon! Wallace & Gromit: The Great Vegetable will be released in 2005. Can't wait!

I used to own all the figurines, but one of my girls stole a few and hid them a little too well. It's been 6 years and three homes since they went missing, so I'm not holding my breath. Apparently a new line of W&G action figures is being released soon, but nobody has images up of what they'll look like. That's okay, my cat would just steal them anyway...

BTW, I've tried Wensleydale at a cheese party (yah, I like cheese, every day, so what?) and it wasn't great. I wouldn't buy it again. But, I'd definitely buy a ticket to the new Wallace and Gromit film!!

(Thanks, Somerdale!)

Get yer food on

Lost your appetite? Trail of Crumbs is guaranteed to help you get it back. The photos of food on this site are spectacular in quality and will make you start drooling... mmm nummy! This one in particular makes me desire a food coma:

Just to be clear, this pic from the blog does not make me hungry:

(but it does tug at my heartstrings. :)

A moment of silence for Bubba

Apparently I will not move past the mourning stage until I blog about Bubba. I first read about Bubba the 22-lb lobster at CNN's offbeat news site. I was so excited to see that Bubba was being saved from a dinner plate and moved to the the Pittsburgh Zoo and PPG Aquarium. Bubba did not appreciate the stress of the move, however, and died. :( Sad. Rest in peace, big guy. Hope crustacean afterlife is good to you...

Young(er) at heart

At least I'm still in my 20s at heart:

You Are 27 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Saturday, March 05, 2005


Today my buddy Roger left for training in Mississippi to prepare for his mission in Iraq. So, in honor of and tribute to him, I'd like to share Iraq my Brain with you. I don't know Jeff or any of the people in his unit, but this blog represents what Roger is about to go through. To all soldiers fighting this war on terra: Good luck, stay safe, and come home in one piece, pretty please!

Another damn nerd test

I was really hoping to avoid the stigma, but Jenna is Annoyed has helped me to further confirm that I am, in fact, a big old nerd:

I am nerdier than 64% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!


Gaah. I shoulda followed the fork in the road where I spoke French to cows...

At least the test says I only have the low-grade nerd fever:


The Gates from space -- scroll down and right. Neat!

Oh-oh, it's magic!

Found this link on someone's blog. I definitely recommend checking out boat and computers (whole). Not a toy, definitely don't recommend throwing yourself or even your mortal enemy into this contraption. Yikes!


Went through the drive-thru at Burger King today and received a DOUBLE DUTY BOX for holding our drinks. For some reason the marketing team at BK feels compelled to put an explanation of the box's function on the box:

    "A lot of people wonder why it was decided upon to make a two cup-carrier (SIC) as opposed to say, a one-cup carrier or a three-cup carrier. Well, a one-cup carrier is just called a cup. So that was pretty much out. And a three-cup carrier would have to be shaped into some strange triangle, and balancing that contraption would be more trouble than it's worth. So we settled on two. Hopefully it serves you well."

Aside from all the grammatical errors and lack of appropriate punctuation, I find this disclaimer quite charming and amusing. Nice job, BK.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 7: Results

If you don't want to know, don't read this *SPOILER*

... ... ...

--- --- ---



Okay, here we go!

Out: Celena, Aloha, Joseph, and David.

I don't agree with America about Aloha, but I'm cool with the rest.

Mixed messages

Pirate kite? This shirt is hilarious. I wonder if the kiddie who wears it will grow up well adjusted, or the lead tyrant on a pirate ship?

Three sentences

Thanks, P'nut, for sharing AnonymousCoworker's cure fore boredom.

Hi, you! I forgot your name, but do you want to cure your boredom? Here ya go:

    1. Grab the nearest book.
    2. Open the book to page 123.
    3. Find the fifth sentence.
    4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
    5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

Unfortunately, I had a boring book at my fingertips when I posted to The Nutshell Crack'd, so I dug out my current book, and I kid you not, I am actually ON page 123! How weird is that?!

Please leave your results in the comments section.

Ok, here's a try from the book I'm actually reading right now:
    Now, however, an unexpected development had emerged. Mystifyingly, four cardinals were absent from the chapel. Mortari knew that all the exits to Vatican City were guarded, and the missing cardinals could not have gone far, but still, with less than an hour before opening prayer, he was feeling disconcerted.

Yes, that is a passage from Dan Brown's Angels & Demons, which is the prequel to The Da Vinci Code. I *loved* The Da Vinci Code, brilliant...


The Boondocks by Aaron McGruder

Teehee. (Thanks, small flightless bird.)

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

American Idol Season 4, Week 7: Women

Another lackluster week for the ladies...

We voted for: Aloha, Jessica, Amanda, Janay, and Vonzell.

Our favorite performers: Amanda and Janay.

My favorite performances: Aloha singing How Come You Don't Call Me and Vonzell singing If I Ain't Got You.

(Yes, we notice that both favorite performances are Alicia Keys songs. We love Alicia, what can we say.)